Monday, May 21, 2012


After two days of rain to end last week, the weather has again been just spectacular here in Wyoming. Sunny, warm, dry and in the 70s. Just perfect.

Now, you may or may not have picked up on this, but I am down to ONE job title here on the ranch this season. Last year, as you remember, I had two +. I was a little nutty, always zipping around the ranch with an endless list of to-do's in my head, and with nothing ever getting finished "perfectly" simply because there was no time.

This year, my one job is not as the gardener. I made the mistake of making the cabins too nice for guests last year, and making the boss super duper happy with the cleanliness of her ranch.

And you know? It's okay. I had a rough day early on, missing my greenhouse and garden, and the joy of watching things grow. But I had to remind myself - if I was in charge of the greenhouse, I'd also STILL be the housekeeper, and I'd be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Again. So the sadness is gone, and in it's place? Relief.

My days are still full, but I'm able to really finish my projects, making sure that things are beautiful and clean and lovely. I don't feel frantic. I don't feel stressed.

And on nice days? I get to go out and work in the flower beds. As they say in Jason's family, "It's a get to, not a got to." It rocks.

As I was pulling weeds last week - lots and lots of spring weeds - I got to thinking about the nature of them. Weeding is a pretty good time for some reflection and meditation, by the by. An activity that you don't have to think too hard about, so you can mentally do some heavy lifting. The only way to really weed is to take the time and get them by their roots. Dig deep and wide, and work out every last root. If you don't the weeds just come back. Fast. Prolific. Invasive. Choking out the good. And sometimes, you think you've successfully gotten all of the roots, only to turn around a week later and BOOM. Weed fiesta.

So, in my reflective weed digging state last week, I started thinking about the handful of poisonous friendships I've had in the past - ones that finally got so diseased that I had no choice but to dig them out - and if I didn't get all the roots, they just kept coming back. Making me sicker.

I believe that people come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes it's just for a season. And when that season is over, if the relationship is forced, it can atrophy.

So, yes, there have been a handful of "friendships" in my life that turned the corner from being positive (all with people who, at one time, brought wonderful things into my life) that suddenly went rancid. Where I felt abused, taken advantage of, afraid... Helpful hint - if you're terrified of picking up the phone when a "friend" calls, then their message leaves you feeling sick, empty and used, it's time to tear out that relationship. Dig out the roots, and burn the friendship.

That may seem selfish, but how can we have space and trust in our healthy relationships, when so much of our energy is being choked out by negativity?

Anyhow, food for thought from my days in the flower beds.

Have you ever had to end a dying friendship, and tear it out by the roots?

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