tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78721852021644924272024-02-07T03:59:34.009-08:00Erin's AdventuresMarriage, the Arts and Life - The Story of a Life Lived UnconventionallyErin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.comBlogger281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-89537336636055031332015-04-14T07:16:00.000-07:002015-04-14T07:16:46.408-07:00BraveWe just came back from a week of vacation with my family - my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, and our niece. The next three years are going to be nuts, and I won’t get to see very much of them, so I am thankful we had this time together where everyone was on vacation.<br /><br />As you probably know if you follow my blog, the last year has been a massive one for me - major health issues, teaching college for the first time, getting accepted to grad school. Lots of change in a very short amount of time.<br /><br />On the last morning of our trip, my mom said something to me. This is not verbatim, but you get the gist, “I’ve been thinking about what I would have done in your shoes. To be honest, I think I would have taken the safe road, continuing to teach at Florida Southern, and working on getting my Master’s somewhere local. But you never take the easy way, you always take the hard way.” She was telling me she was proud of me, that I was being brave, stepping into the unknown.<br /><br />I’ve always stepped cautiously in my life choices. When it come down to it, though, I’ve always taken the tough route, the one with the greater payoff, the one that gives me the chance to reach for that infamous Brass Ring. I hate change, but I’m not afraid to take a giant leap of faith, knowing that if it doesn’t work out as I planned, it will still be worthwhile and I can adapt and make the best of it.<br /><br />That’s what I do - I adapt. I’m good at it. I’m not a chameleon. I don’t change who I am in any fundamental way, but I adapt quickly and well to the circumstances surrounding me. So, I know that I will always find a way to be okay. Makes it easier to leap when the right opportunity comes along.<br /><br />Maybe it’s all the years of auditioning. Actors are some of the bravest people out there, truly. We put ourselves on the line every day, facing rejection time and time again, usually for a reason that has nothing to do with our talent. We get rejected because of our face, our hair, our skin, our bodies - too thin, too fat, too kind, too pretty, not pretty enough. And somehow, we dust ourselves off and put ourselves back out there the next day and the day after that, knowing that it’s a game of numbers and eventually we will hit the jackpot if we keep training, keep showing up, keep persevering. What that does to you is eliminate the fear of rejection - you either keep getting up and showing up, or you get out of the business. When you’re not afraid of how you’ll handle the outcome, it makes it easier to take a risk. Actors are conditioned to handle rejection and take risks, everyday.<br /><br />On top of that, I’m not willing to waste a day of my life - there is so much to do, see, experience in this incredible world we are living in. I cannot and will not miss out on it, especially because of fear. (Though some fears are useful - for example, I have no intention of placing myself in a war zone just to say I’ve been there.) I refuse to sit back and let me life pass me by - our days are finite. We all will die someday, and whenever that day comes for me, I want to pass from this life knowing I lived it well.<br /><br />I am not afraid. I’m willing to dream and then act on those dreams. <br /><br />As mom so aptly puts it, “You are daring to do something different with your life.”<br /><br />I guess that makes me brave.Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-58987685032812313462015-04-03T07:27:00.003-07:002015-04-03T07:27:56.781-07:00Doctor UpdateOkay, friends. I try to be very open about my health journey - not because I'm looking for sympathy, but because I hope that maybe I can help or encourage someone who might be struggling with a scary diagnosis, and because it helps me when I write about it. So here goes...<br />
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<br />Last week, I had my three month checkup with the rheumatologist (we are on three month maintenance now instead of one or two - woooo!) and the very next day my annual physical with my general practitioner. I did this back to back appointment thing very deliberately because I wanted all that information to be fresh in my brain when I went from one doc to the next.<br /><br />I’ll start with the rheumatologist. My blood work came back GREAT, he said it looks like I’m leveling out and that maybe “we’ve seen the worst of it”. Hallelujah, time to celebrate! This means that the medications (Hydroxychloroquine as a disease modifying drug to mask my symptoms and amlodipine for the Raynaud’s) are working, that my anti-inflammatory, mostly paleo diet is putting out the fires of inflammation in my body, and I’m getting sufficient exercise and rest. Big thumbs up. He also said I was lucky I didn’t flare from my photosensitivity after all my sun exposure during our Caribbean vacation a few weeks back even though I was SUPER careful - sunscreen all the time and fully covered, even in the water. Tsk tsk. We made a plan for the transfer of my care to a new rheumatologist in State College after the move at the beginning of August, and I will see him one more time at the end of June. I was feeling pretty good after that visit, but I always forget about the long-term consequences of my disease, even when it’s managed, because we are focused on the immediate and the near future as it relates to my blood work.<br /><br />The next day I went in for my annual physical with my general practitioner. I haven’t seen her since that terrible day last May when I showed up with a strange UV burn on my legs and she sent me to the rheumatologist with what she believed was lupus. She is SO sharp, and I am beyond thankful that she read my symptoms so well - the fact that she caught my connective tissue disease that early has made all the difference in their ability to manage it without steroids. Most doctors wouldn’t have caught it for another several years, when I would have been living with full blown Lupus.<br /><br />One of the things I love most about my GP is that she plays straight with me - she doesn’t gloss over anything and everything is up for questions and discussion. So here’s what was new this time - she believes that I have the start of arthritis in my hands. I had no idea that it wasn’t normal to have joints in my hand that are always sore - it’s been that way as long as I can remember! Rheumatoid arthritis also happens to be a connective tissue disease and is best friends with lupus. They are so close that they actually use the same exact blood test for both diseases (and Scleroderma, too) and then diagnose which disease you have based on your symptoms. Often, you can have symptoms from <i>all</i> three diseases that fall under the umbrella of "Connective Tissue Disease". She chastised me for not getting my eyes checked yet, because the hydroxychloroquine that I’m taking to suppress my symptoms is notorious for damaging the eyes. She followed that, however, by saying it’s still the best medication option as it’s the least toxic of all the disease modifying drugs. (!) I am now seeing the optometrist at the end of this month, promise.<br /><br />This is where it gets hard: we talked about the possibility of Jason and I having a baby in the future. My rheumatologist had said it was a possibility down the line, but would need some serious planning, it was not recommended anytime in the near future, and when the time came we could talk about it. My ob-gyn told me it was possible but I would now have to be treated by a specialist for High-Risk pregnancies. But, my GP, honest and straightforward as always, recommended that Jason and I speak with a high risk pregnancy doctor before we make any decisions about having a child of our own. She said that I would have to come off of the hydroxychloroquine (toxic to the child), and would likely be on prednisone for the entire first two trimesters of my pregnancy. (I can’t sleep when I take steroids...) I could not remain on it for the third trimester, and would likely deliver very early. It is indeed possible to have a baby, but she recommended that if we were going to do it that I be pregnant for the end of my graduate program, and plan to deliver that summer or early in fall, as I would be 35, almost 36 at that time.<br /><br />I truly appreciate having that information because it will help Jason and I make a more informed decision going forward. We are going to wait and see how I do with the stress of my first year of graduate school, and then see the high risk specialist at that time and make some decisions. But dang, it is so hard to hear that.<br /><br />Some days I feel so broken - like my body has betrayed me. I’m not going to lie, it just sucks. Eternal optimist that I am, though, hope for healing always wells up in me. And, honestly, if I know how to do anything, it’s adapt - I’m great at it, so at the moment I’m working on adapting to the lifestyle I need to survive graduate school.<br /><br />Speaking of, my GP had some words for me on that as well. She reiterated what Jason and I already knew - that my health and well-being has to come first. I absolutely cannot shirk on my exercise, yoga, meditation, sleep, or diet because the first thing that will go is my health. If I want to graduate from my program, I have to put myself first, and if something isn’t finished, then it isn’t finished. Period. She told me to do what I have to in order to eliminate any unnecessary stressors - like paying someone to clean the house, doing all my meal planning/prep on Sundays, etc... and to remember that school is my ONLY job while I’m doing it. If I can do those things, I will make it through.<br /><br />She must recognize my type - I have always been willing to go the extra mile and put the stress on myself to keep others from being uncomfortable. That has always come at the expense of my health. Even after that conversation with my GP, I found myself this weekend (literally three days later) making a crazy plan to keep everyone (but me) happy, one that would likely have been detrimental to my physical well being because of the stress. My mother-in-law immediately said, “Didn’t you JUST have this conversation with your Doctor? You cannot physically do that!” And she was absolutely right, I can’t. Learning that is going to take some time, as I’ve been putting my health after everyone else's comfort since I was fifteen.<br /><br />Please continue to keep me in your prayers. I will continue trying to make the right choices for the benefit of my body, and put into regular practice all these things that will keep me healthy.<br />
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So, for you guys out there: Please take care of your body because you only get one, and there are NO guarantees.Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-1546905475882846642015-03-31T07:21:00.004-07:002015-03-31T07:21:53.482-07:00Life Lessons with Bruce and MarilynI’m really trying to keep my eyes open for great interactions right now - slowing down and being aware of what and (more importantly) who is around me. Stopping to smell the roses, really.<br /><br />This morning, while dropping off the new ottoman Jason built to have the top upholstered, I met Bruce and his lovely wife Marilyn. They are 81 years old, and so magnificently vibrant. They could have retired years ago, but they choose to keep working part time because it makes them feel alive. It’s just the two of them in this little section of a big warehouse, lovingly refinishing people’s treasures, both large and small. <br /><br />They’ve been at it forever, and don’t lack in clientele. In fact, they do the upholstery for some major sports figures and actors who have retired here in Orlando, and their resulting stories from so many years of the business are just magnificent. Bruce had me in tears of laughter telling me about playing golf with Mickey Rooney, and Marilyn, well, her childhood dream was to be a Rockette (she was too short, like me) so of course we bonded on the spot.<br /><br />Our business was done within thirty minutes of my arrival, and I spent the next thirty minutes smiling so hard my cheeks hurt as I stood and chatted with Bruce and Marilyn. The only reason I left was because they had another customer, otherwise I’d still be there chatting with them.<br /><br />In that short time they dropped some serious knowledge on me, all because I took the time to stop and really listen. So, here’s today’s Life Lessons, from the mouths of Bruce and Marilyn:<br /><br />1. Work hard at whatever you do, always, and take pride in your work. It has value.<br />2. The way you treat people counts. Everyone is important to someone, and they deserve to be treated with grace and kindness.<br />3. On the flip side of everyone having value, don’t over value someone just because they are powerful and famous. People are just people - and at some basic level, we all have the same challenges and stresses, joys and pains.<br />4. Also, in the same vein of 2 and 3 - no one is REALLY a stranger. The things that make us human bring us together, so rediscover the lost art of conversation, and really meet the people around you.<br />5. Don’t be afraid to swing for the fences. You may miss, but at least you can say you tried.<br />6. You have to have SOMETHING to do - even when you retire. People need a purpose or they will curl up and die. What is your purpose today?<br />7. Share your stories. Someone, somewhere, will value them. Specifically, write about your life - the big stuff and the little stuff - because none of it is meaningless, and every second of your life has worth.<br />
8. Even when things don't end up the way you initially hoped, everything will work out - maybe even better than you originally planned.<br />9. Value your partner not just for their financial contributions, or their work ethic, but for who they are. Remember why you married them. And when they tell the same story for the umpteenth time, laugh all over again.<br /><br />I really, really want to be like Bruce and Marilyn when I grow up - believing that age is just a number, and that it’s all about how old you FEEL. I wonder if they’d let me come back and hang out with them for group therapy every week?Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-72139441099198304002015-03-24T08:49:00.000-07:002015-03-24T08:49:12.917-07:00Pennsylvania BoundThis post is so beyond overdue it's not even funny, but in the whirlwind of life, I'm not surprised it's taken me so long to write it!<br />
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In my last post on February 8, I was headed to Penn State for my final interview for their MFA in Directing for the Musical Stage. I was terrified and excited and was going to have the opportunity to sit down to dinner with one of my heroes, Susan Schulman. I was able to talk myself out of my nerves and just be myself (a new thing for me, now that I'm two years into my 30s), and I left with my head held high feeling like I'd done solid work. In fact, I learned so much in that 36 hour period that I felt like the trip had been absolutely worth it, no matter the outcome, and that I was at peace with <i>whatever </i>their decision was.<br />
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So, imagine my shock and surprise when Susan called me four days later and made me an offer for one of the two slots that open up every other year. It was a Friday morning, and I was literally fifteen minutes away from walking into my first school of the day to teach several preschool dance classes. Susan told me to take the weekend to talk it over with Jason and to call her on Monday morning with my answer.<br />
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No pressure.<br />
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I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach - excited and nervous butterflies having a grand battle in my belly. I tried to call Jason on his cell, couldn't get him, and so I called his office and asked to be put through to him (something I NEVER do) so I could tell him the news. Then, I called my parents. <i>Then</i>, I somehow had to get it together and actually<i> teach </i>those crazy preschool classes. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING that will bring you back down to Earth faster than a class full of adorable and snotty two year olds.<br />
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We spent the weekend talking about it. It's an incredibly special opportunity, but because they give you so many more opportunities than any other school, they ask for so much more of your life than any other program. Jason and I needed to be sure that we were BOTH in for the three year long haul, because truthfully, it will impact him far more than I. I followed up with another MFA program that I was highly in the running for, and by the end of the weekend we were convinced that Penn State was clearly the place where we needed to be. To be honest, this is the program that started this whole MFA hunt for me, and it's totally fitting that that's where I ended up.<br />
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So, we are moving to State College, PA this August for me to begin my three year MFA program. <br />
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And let me tell you - this program is one of a kind. It's an MFA in Directing for the Musical Stage (the only one of it's kind that I'm aware of), headed by Broadway Director (LITTLE WOMEN, THE SECRET GARDEN, SWEENEY TODD, etc…., etc…, etc…) and SDC President (that's the Stage Director's and Choreographers Union if you don't know) Susan Schulman. I've accepted a full ride and paid assistantship (basically they are paying me to get my degree there), and will be mentored by Ms. Schulman and the rest of the incredible Penn State faculty. I have three international study trips that the University pays for - one summer to England, the next Eastern Europe, and then finally Italy (my fav). The program also comes with an Assistantship on a production at a major Regional Theatre or On/Off Broadway. The alums of this program are working like crazy as professionals and professors. It is TRULY the most incredible professional opportunity I've ever been handed, and I am so excited to get to work.<br />
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Last weekend, I was able to spend about four days in State College and hunt for a place to live, as now is the time. I stayed with one of the current MFA candidates (thanks, Emmy!), saw some great places, and then miracle of all miracles, a realtor showed me a house that was for rent. I didn't even know it was available, but it ticked literally EVERY box we had come up with. A big yard for Indy. Check. A garage. Check. (and this is a TWO CAR garage!) Basement. Check. Existing Woodshop in said basement. Check. Lots of character. Check. Wood floors. Check. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms. Check. Fireplace. Check. An office Space. Check. An actual dining room. Check. Man Cave in the Basement. Check. And all in our budget! Want to talk about answers to prayers? Anyhow, we were able to rent the house, and are so excited about it. It's older and funky, with lots of personality - absolutely perfect for us, and only a few minutes from the school. There was still snow on the ground, and nothing has grown back yet, so here's the listing photo of the house, like it will be when we get there this summer:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimc7XqX3Y7LENYdWfBuBrJiPPZDxO3uS_RV7ypcCM3lsnhZqyOaCmrvrHR4l1iegIUN_mbiLFhY7blC5gjJ_skXCl1ScPES-MrFEM8IxIwHJS4RjzdyEcf-DfZ_G6FetPqBINtKrG90Sc/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-03-24+at+11.42.31+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimc7XqX3Y7LENYdWfBuBrJiPPZDxO3uS_RV7ypcCM3lsnhZqyOaCmrvrHR4l1iegIUN_mbiLFhY7blC5gjJ_skXCl1ScPES-MrFEM8IxIwHJS4RjzdyEcf-DfZ_G6FetPqBINtKrG90Sc/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-03-24+at+11.42.31+AM.png" height="247" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our future State College Home.</td></tr>
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So, now, we are getting ready for the eventual move - thinking about going through everything that's been in boxes since we left California in March, 2011. Giving some things away, filling in with new. Looking for work for Jason. Mentally and emotionally preparing ourselves for this next life change. Getting ready to re-enter student-dom. Working with my doctors to manage my autoimmune diseases even better. Buying student tickets for the football season. Having as much quality time together as possible. A million little things to do before everything changes again.<br />
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Please keep us in your prayers as we move forward into this next phase of life. I am excited, terrified, nervous, over-the-moon about this incredible opportunity, and I can promise you I won't waste it.<br />
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A Florida Gator and a Michigan Wolverine move to Nittany Lion territory… Sounds like a bad joke. But we are confident that the next three years are meant to be spent in Pennsylvania, and if each of our last stops has been any indication, it's going to be AWESOME.<br />
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<br />Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-11955784141225010462015-02-08T04:39:00.001-08:002015-02-08T04:39:33.485-08:00JasonA week from right now - 6:30am on Sunday - I will be on a plane (alone) to State College, Pennsylvania. In February. Brrrrrr.<div><br></div><div>It's the final step in my application process to Penn State, and I think, my final MFA interview of the year.</div><div><br></div><div>After that, we wait - for one offer, multiple offers, or no offers at all. And based on those offers (or lack thereof), we will make a decision on what we need to do moving forward. For Jason, this will be based on places that he has not seen. He is trusting my gut instinct, which is well honed, but still - the pressure!</div><div><br></div><div>Are we leaving Florida for my graduate degree? Are we staying so I can continue to teach at Florida Southern and figure out how to get my MFA part time? Or is there something else entirely different on the horizon?</div><div><br></div><div>It's an exciting time - full of possibility and uncertainty.</div><div><br></div><div>You see, I don't believe in accidents or coincidences. I believe that things have a purpose, and if you keep your eyes and ears open and are willing to walk down the next path, that adventure is waiting. But if you hide from change, or close your eyes and stick your fingers in your ears, you will stagnate. And stagnation is, to my mind, a huge waste of the gift that is life.</div><div><br></div><div>We are in a holding period right now, closing in on the end of the "what if's..." We've been in this place for months now, waiting for the answer of what's next - so we can make the right plans and move forward. The blessing of this time has been the opportunity to imagine the possibilities. The unfortunate part is that because we are preparing, we are being frugal - saving money for the big change that's coming (and grateful to be able to do so) - but all the "saving" has made us feel a little stuck. Like we work all week for the weekend and then don't do anything big with that weekend because we are planning ahead.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm so grateful, though, to be in this waiting space with a partner who is so patient with me. I'm constantly rehashing the "what-if's", and he never complains or tells me I'm repeating myself or asks me to stop. Instead he plans to build furniture to replace what we gave away when we moved across the country, spending days preparing reclaimed wood boards so I can have one of a kind pieces. He listens to me talk about this essay I have to write, or this scene I have to prepare to direct for the millionth time, or how much I love teaching college (again) and goes right on loving me.</div><div><br></div><div>He agrees with my crazy plan to squeeze in as many vacations as we can in the next few months (another reason we are being so frugal), and he forgives me for getting stuck in my head so often, sometimes unable to listen when he really needs it. I am so incredibly thankful for the grace my husband shows me every single day.</div><div><br></div><div>So - this is really a letter to my partner, my better half, the love of my life, for going on the journey with me. For stepping on the same path. For seeing me, flaws and insecurities and all, with such incredible grace. For loving me unconditionally. For adventuring together. For creating beautiful art. For being my best friend. For building a strong partnership. For expanding my horizons. For believing that I am good enough. For standing bravely beside me through my health issues. For loving my loved ones. For reasoning with my crazy. For staring change in the face. For trusting my gut on a huge decision. For letting me love you so ferociously.</div><div><br></div><div>I love you, Jason. I appreciate you, Jason. Thank you for the man you are. Happy Valentines Day.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij1P8d77VprwqEbvZwKh4De5OyS4wprVkHFVcl3Y7klnI1aWvXopPGb-ScPVSLyvmRabss-6Imu-vNY_s_ONuubczagX-ZKZhwAc8NX20WXzbNr9cIkN-7uWo8JrdZ_-vnf7ws1E0Xlrk/s640/blogger-image--53893972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij1P8d77VprwqEbvZwKh4De5OyS4wprVkHFVcl3Y7klnI1aWvXopPGb-ScPVSLyvmRabss-6Imu-vNY_s_ONuubczagX-ZKZhwAc8NX20WXzbNr9cIkN-7uWo8JrdZ_-vnf7ws1E0Xlrk/s640/blogger-image--53893972.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div>Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-52780754784934373482015-02-03T04:11:00.000-08:002015-02-03T04:11:15.016-08:00"Writing in Pencil"I'm supposed to be working on one of my last grad school application essays this morning, and I will get there, I promise I will. But I just read something, and I need to share and unpack it in a way.<br />
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<i>"Everything is interim. Everything is a path or a preparation for the next thing, and we never know what the next thing is. Life is like that, of course, twisty and surprising. But life with God is like that exponentially. We can dig in, make plans, write in stone, pretend we're not listening, but the voice of God has a way of being heard... it moves us to different countries and different emotional territories and different ways of living. It keeps us moving and dancing and watching and never lets us drop down into a life set on cruise control or a life ruled by remote control.... full of flashes and last-minute exits and generally all the things we've said we'll never do." -</i>Shauna Niequist, COLD TANGERINES "Writing in Pencil"<br />
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I HATE change. I truly do. For someone who hates change and uprooting and packing and unpacking as much as I have, I've moved a TON in my adult life, and they haven't been moves across the city. First to Michigan, then back home, then around the country on several regional theatre gigs, then home again, then to Wyoming, then to Florida, and now to ______? We're going, we think, but we don't know where. Jason is planning to leave his very good job so I can get the MFA that we believe I'm supposed to have, and we still don't know where. We have some idea, but the "where" isn't confirmed yet. We don't know what Jason is going to do when we get there. But we believe it's time to go, that the doors are opening, and that just as He did when we moved to Wyoming and Florida, God will provide. As long as we have continued to go, God has continued to bless us. That's absolutely a fact. Each of these places has seemed temporary, an interim time, and the next one will be interim as well, I think. Now that we've been at it a while, I'm coping better with the flexible nature of our journey. But it still kind of sucks. Then I remember the true remarkable uniqueness of each place we've been, and the incredible people that have come into our lives in these places, and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Nor would I change the people and places that are to come, because I think that each stage (in some way) defines a piece of our character and our heart.<br />
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I gave up planning my life in indelible ink a while ago - everything that I "planned" has been marvelously, beautifully different. Now, I plan in pencil, trusting that when the plan goes off the rails and I have to erase, that it will be so much better than I ever imagined.<br />
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So, here's to a good eraser, a spirit of adventure, and never getting too comfortable. Bring it on.Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-73041624965603545272014-10-15T05:25:00.000-07:002014-10-15T05:25:26.217-07:00Turning 32 - Big, Deep BreathTomorrow is my 32nd birthday.<br />
<br />
I've always felt that my New Year starts on my birthday, so it's important to take a look at my 31st year before my 32nd starts tomorrow.<br />
<br />
31 has been a mixed bag.<br />
<br />
Professionally, it's been an absolutely magnificent year. I've booked a lot of acting work this year, and accomplished one of my big goals - booking my first SAG national commercial and becoming SAG eligible - a PERFECT position to be in when you live in a "Right-to-Work" state like Florida. I've also made a huge professional decision, but more on that in a minute.<br />
<br />
Personally, it's been a mixed bag. I fall more in love with my husband every day. We just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary in one of our favorite places, Florence. We did as much vacationing as we could. In those respects it was a great year.<br />
<br />
My health issues are a different story altogether. If you don't remember, I've been in and out of the rheumatologists office since a weird rash showed up on my legs in May. My general practitioner is so sharp, she took one look at it and knew exactly what it was - a skin rash related to Lupus (which I had other symptoms for as well). I was eventually diagnosed with "Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease", which means I test positive for a family of diseases (Lupus, Scleroderma, Rheumatoid Arthritis), but don't have enough symptoms of one of them to be officially diagnosed. At the end of August, my blood work came back really bad, and the Doctor said he believed I had progressed to Lupus, and that he was afraid that many more symptoms were about to show up. He said he would wait for another blood test in three weeks before he made the official diagnosis. They added another medication - a disease modifying drug - to help. Armed with lots of prayer, new meds and more education about what I needed to be eating to reduce the fires of inflammation burning in my body, I had a GREAT check up three weeks later. I've been downgraded again to Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease, and I don't have to go back until just before Christmas - which is a DEFINITE improvement.<br />
<br />
What I've noticed in my body is that I'm experiencing more fatigue (which the doctor says they can't treat) and more joint pain - tough when everything you do all day demands the full use of your body. Some days I come to the end of it with absolutely nothing left. I'm so exhausted that I regularly fall asleep by 8pm and sleep ten hours - like last night, for example. I have a long way to go to adjust to dealing with my disease.<br />
<br />
Just before we went to Europe I was offered a theatre contract out of the blue. It was a great project, with backing from the National Endowment for the Arts, a great cast attached and a production team that I adore. Never in a million years would I have turned that down before, but my reality right now is that I don't have the stamina to add a rehearsal process to my schedule and am not selfish enough to try. My health is the primary focus right now, and until we get it fully squared away, performing in anything more than a commercial is really off the table.<br />
<br />
Which has led to my decision (well, OUR decision, as Jason is a major player in this) that I would finally apply to graduate school for my MFA in Directing. I don't know how much longer my body can hold up under teaching as many dance classes as I do, no matter how much I love it. Getting my MFA would mean a transition to a less physical side of the industry, and open doors for directing professionally and teaching full time at the collegiate level. It's a well prayed over decision, and Jason and I truly believe it's the right one. It also means another big move for us if I do get in, as I'm not applying to any schools in the State of Florida. The exciting news is that of the three applications that I've already completed, I have made it through the first cut at one and now have to write a "show-pitch" for them, and have been invited for an interview next month at another. These are both programs that offer a full tuition waiver and paid teaching assistantship to cover our costs of living, and were my top two choices from the beginning. I will continue following through with my plan to pursue my MFA, and my prayer is that God will either open or close the doors. That there will be no question of what we're supposed to do and where we are supposed to go. If you'd be willing to keep us in your prayers, please also pray that God would be preparing a job position for Jason wherever we ultimately land. God has been so faithful to us in our first four years of marriage, and we know that His journey is better than anything we have planned - we are living proof of it!<br />
<br />
I'm celebrating my 31st year today - the good, the bad, the ugly. Preparing myself for big changes in year 32. Ready to journey onward wherever our path takes us. Thanks for celebrating with me.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look how far we've come, Mom!</td></tr>
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Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-47422655864166382682014-09-02T07:25:00.000-07:002014-09-02T07:25:12.073-07:00The Girl Who Gets Put on HoldSince I first landed home in LA in December of 2006 (after spending the first six months after graduation from Michigan working in regional theatres), I have been after that first, elusive SAG National Contract.<br />
<br />
I just have to tell you this story. I'd been home only a few months, and I went out on a Cingular spot - do you even remember Cingular? I think that by the end of 2007 they'd merged with AT&T to create the massive wireless company that AT&T is today.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, they were running some HILARIOUS dropped call spots that AT&T ended up adopting for a while after the merger.<br />
<br />
I remember going to the preliminary audition and feeling that I rocked it. It was one of those rare occasions that the client was on site for the preliminary audition, and I remember that they pulled the casting director and the client out of the room where they were watching me on tape to watch me live. Seriously. The next day my agent called to say that I was "on hold", and to clear my schedule for a WHOLE FREAKING WEEK.<br />
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I was still super new to this, so I got REALLY excited, told everyone I knew, planned how I was going to spend the serious money I was going to make from the spot, and then sat and STARED at the phone for basically a week, willing it to ring. Finally it did ring, to let me know I had been released from my hold. They didn't want to get fined by SAG for Taft-Hartley-ing me because I was non-union, so they hired the girl who was already SAG. I was DEVASTATED.<br />
<br />
Obviously, I was a little new to this whole deal.<br />
<br />
A few weeks later the spot started airing, and every time I saw it it was like a little knife in my side, with a nagging voice in my head saying, "That should have been you. You could be paying off your student loans..."<br />
<br />
Here's the final spot they shot:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/xePCxL83-EU" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
And the girl they hired is GREAT. I can admit that now. And she was probably STOKED to have booked it.<br />
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What followed that booking was seven years (well, five if you take out the years we were in Wyoming) of me continually getting put on Hold or First Refusal. I'm the girl that they always really like, but never book. The girl who gets put on Hold, and then released.<br />
<br />
Until two weeks ago.<br />
<br />
I got called back for, and then put on hold for a REALLY big spot. I tried not to think about it, and only shared it with a handful of people because all those holds for all those years have made me superstitious. I tried not to think about it for FIVE days. FIVE DAYS, FOLKS. Five days of waiting to find out if I would finally book my first principal role in a SAG National Spot.<br />
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Two weeks ago today - on a Tuesday morning - I popped onto my Facebook to see what was happening, and saw that a wonderful actress I know (who was also called back for the job) had BOOKED IT. AN HOUR BEFORE.<br />
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So, I told my husband, my mom, my sister, and some friends that I hadn't booked it and would get a call in a bit to say I'd been released from my hold - again.<br />
<br />
Then I gave myself ten minutes to feel bad about it, to cry it out for coming so close AGAIN. I did a lot of praying during those moments, praying for wisdom and guidance and that God would continue to reveal His special plan for my life to me. Reminding myself that HIS plan is bigger than MINE. After those ten minutes, I told myself to put on my big girl pants and smile and get on with my day because I have students that count on me and a family who loves me and a day job that I truly love. Not booking a commercial doesn't change my value.<br />
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IMMEDIATELY, my phone rang. It was my agent. I picked it up, knowing that he was calling to release me from my hold, ready to accept that this wasn't the right timing.<br />
<br />
And he told me I had BOOKED IT. I screamed. Then I cried. Blubbered. I'm sure I sounded like a total maniac on the phone.<br />
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Then I got to call my husband, and my mom, and my sister and share the news. They all thought I was calling to commiserate, and were ready to cheer me up when they picked up. Best day of my life. (Well, not really, but ONE of the best days of my life).<br />
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My mom reminded me that God was working on me that morning, that what He really wanted was an obedient and open heart. <br />
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How cool is that?<br />
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I cannot wait to share the spot with you - it's a very special one. And I get to knock one of my major goals off the list.<br />
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Now onto the next goal. And maybe another SAG National spot after that. ;)Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-48396193780642440792014-08-10T05:44:00.001-07:002014-08-10T05:44:02.294-07:00Walking Auto-Immune DiseaseThe blog's been quiet again. Since my last posts in May, I've been diagnosed with yet another Auto-Immune Disease. That's why the blog has been so quiet - I've been working on getting my health issues managed.<br />
<br />
Blessing of all blessings, my wonderful general practitioner (who says I am a "walking auto-immune disease") caught it early and sent me to an excellent Rheumatologist, so instead of being diagnosed with Lupus, I have the diagnosis of Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease (UCTD). What that means is that I have tested positive for Lupus, but am missing several key symptoms. The good news is that less than 20% of patients diagnosed with UCTD ever progress to Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis or Scleroderma. Catching it early really counts!<br />
<br />
What that has meant for me is more changes to my diet and lifestyle. Because of my severe gluten sensitivity I've already been living Gluten Free since August of 2009. I am now following an autoimmune protocol laid out by Dr. Terry Wahls - 9 cups of raw vegetables and fruit every day, totally Grain Free (well, mostly...), grass fed/free range/wild caught proteins, probiotic rich foods, increased emphasis on exercise and rest, and general detoxification. As a result, I feel great! It is a lot of work, though, and I've been blessed to have a slow summer of teaching to figure it all out. This week is my last week of summer, though, and after that my schedule kicks into overdrive, so I need to figure out how to streamline my process to get all of the nutrients I need in a fraction of the prep time. Still working that part out. Wish me luck!<br />
<br />
All that to say - I am still here, and I intend to be posting more often this Fall as I have some very exciting things happening that I want to share.<br />
<br />
And if you're interested in Dr. Terry Wahls and the Wahls Protocol, I encourage you to check out her TEDx talk from 2011. I've included the link below!<br />
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http://youtu.be/KLjgBLwH3Wc<br />
<br />
Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-66309569515083750702014-05-14T11:30:00.000-07:002014-05-14T11:30:12.239-07:00Back in the SaddleLast week I did something I haven't done since the Fall of 2010 - I sat on the Production side of the stage for tech week. One of my schools that I bring classes into recruited me to fix, finish and clean the choreography for their production of MY SON PINOCCHIO, JR. The original choreographer lives in Chicago and set most of the choreo in two days, meaning they needed someone on hand to finish and fix it all. And there was a LOT of fixing to be done.<br />
<br />
You see, just a few years back I was a maniac bouncing from project to project, and I went through MASSIVE burnout. I took a break, got married, and then we made the surprise move to Wyoming. Even though I had been teaching and performing since then, I had yet to end my direction/choreography hiatus.<br />
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It was interesting how, after taking a 3 1/2 year break, that I looked at the stressors differently. It's like I could see what would be stressful and why, and managed to avoid owning any of that personally. I used to dive in and take everything on my own shoulders. Not healthy. But it was kind of fun, and exactly the right situation for me to ease myself back in.<br />
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Not that I'm taking on a direction or choreography contract any time soon.<br />
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It's nice to know that I did indeed miss it, though. And great to remember that I was indeed GOOD at it.<br />
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So, thanks for getting gulped down by that big whale, Pinocchio. It was fun to put on my old, worn out choreographer hat again for a little bit.<br />
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<br />Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-4642914519054463282014-05-09T07:11:00.001-07:002014-05-09T07:11:28.573-07:00Red Carpet AnxietyA few weeks back, I was privileged to attend the Orlando premiere of a feature film that I shot last June. It's a locally produced project with pretty decent buzz being built around it - it will receive it's New York premiere this June, and after that will premiere in Atlanta, Los Angeles, Miami, and ever onward. Because of the way the story is told, I feature prominently in the opening of all the trailers, and in the film itself. I'm finally in a project that might receive some distribution, some recognition, some publicity. Things that I can use to open more doors.<br />
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It's terrifying. Well - not the possibilities of the project - the red carpet of it. The schmoozing, the self marketing, all of it.<br />
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I'm an artist - I love to show up and do the work. I love the challenge of it, and in film, the particular challenge of doing it again and again and again. Finding ways to make it honest and truthful and powerful when you've already shot the same scene 20 times from three different angles.<br />
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But the reality of walking the red carpet? Terrifying. That fear of being found wanting? That maybe people will realize you're a fraud who just likes to play dress-up? Borderline debilitating. Being asked to make small talk with strangers? Scary. For someone who calls herself an actor and prides herself on being able to transform into literally ANYTHING or ANYONE, I am a terrible faker in my personal life. I hate it.<br />
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Nothing in my "training" has prepared me to dress myself and walk the red carpet and self promote and network. Oh - the anxiety. Maybe I'm the odd duck, but I didn't become an actor to be famous. I became an actor because I love to tell stories, and take people on a journey. Part of the job is to promote projects that you're in, though, and I just need to get on board.<br />
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I really had to work myself up to show up and walk the red carpet that night. I was terrified that I would stick out like a sore thumb, be overdressed or underdressed. Thank God I had Jason and Joyce with me to keep me steady. With their support, I survived it. I overcame my personal neuroses, and made it through. No one called me out as a "faker". Mark one for me on my personal scoreboard!<br />
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Next time it will be easier.<br />
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Man... I would kill for a stylist....<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/87263159" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <a href="http://vimeo.com/87263159">The Breaking Point Official Trailer</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user7808200">james</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-42436533871014997692014-05-01T05:59:00.002-07:002014-05-01T05:59:51.010-07:00Journey OnThe blog has been quiet again - too quiet.<br />
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All I can say is that I'm trying to figure some things out. Plan. Adjust. Move forward. And it's left precious little time for reflection. If there's anything I need to do to maintain my empathy and humanity, it's reflection.<br />
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I'm a goer. A doer. Or I was.<br />
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And then we spent a year and a half on a ranch in Wyoming and everything changed.<br />
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I learned that I don't want to spend my life going Mach 10 with my hair on fire anymore. These days time seems to be flying by on its own so fast that I'm afraid to wake up tomorrow because I might be 90 and have missed it.<br />
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It. That elusive "it". Life? The journey?<br />
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I had a great conversation with an old college friend last week, he was in town performing with a National Tour, and I managed to snag him for a long overdue breakfast, eight years after graduation. We were both "doers" in our class - there was no way we were going to get sidetracked, we were going to make it and get shit done. (Excuse my French). We both graduated and worked our butts off. He went to grad school, and I eventually landed back home in LA, where I worked and struggled until suddenly I met Jason, got married and moved to Wyoming.<br />
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Looking back on the last eight years, our time in Wyoming (and the winter in between our seasons there), is the absolute best of my memories. Even though I worked harder than I ever have in my life. Even though sometimes I was unbearably lonely and felt a bit lost. The isolation up there - just me and Jason against it all - provided me with a lot of time for reflection. And it was in that time that I had the lightbulb - I am NOT what I DO. It is a part of me, but not the whole package, and I am selling myself short by trading only on what I do.<br />
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So yes - I am an actor, I am a teacher. But I am also a bleeding heart, compassionate to a fault. I want to see and experience the entire world, to make each day count for something. Now that I'm back in the rat race, it's easy to get swept back up in the "go, go, go".<br />
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Believe me - I consider myself fortunate that I am currently able to make my entire living in the arts that I love. Even when some days suck.<br />
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So, back to that breakfast conversation...<br />
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This friend of mine is in a position that most actor friends I know would envy - he is on the Equity National Tour of a VERY famous and popular musical. He knows that there are a million actors out there who would trade places with him in a heartbeat. He only works 3 hours a day, or 6 on two show days, and the rest of the time he gets to explore the cities they find themselves in, or go to the gym, or sleep, or whatever his little heart wants. Of course, this being my "doer" friend, he has in fingers in a million different projects to keep busy.<br />
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But the tradeoff is that he is not creatively fulfilled in any way. He does the show exactly as the actor before him and the one before that did it, with no freedom to create for himself. His creative fulfillment only comes from the side projects he has going.<br />
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To him, our life in Wyoming, and all the adventures that it allowed and have followed it sounds pretty awesome.<br />
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To me, his life on tour sounds pretty awesome.<br />
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The grass is always greener, right?<br />
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Which is why it's so important to have satisfying work in your life. To value yourself for who you are and not what you do.<br />
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It's important to me to give back. It's important that I have a creative outlet. It's important that I take pride in what I do, but at the end of the day my value is not wrapped up in it.<br />
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Trying to divorce the vocation from the avocation is so tough.<br />
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We are a society that lives to work. We work ourselves to the bone every day - for what? For status? Nice clothes, nice house, fancy car - all things that are fleeting and do not contribute in any way to our true self value. You can't take it with you.<br />
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So what CAN I take with me? The satisfaction of a life well lived. Of positively impacting as many lives as possible in whatever time I am given here. Joy. Memories.<br />
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Too often moments of joy take back seat to the guilt that I should have done this, should have done that, I never accomplished this, I said I was going to become this.<br />
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I'm over it. Done with it. The career will come. That laundry can wait. Let's go make a memory.<br />
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If I achieve those career dreams along the way, great! But at the end of it all, I won't beat myself up if it doesn't turn out the way I planned, because it was really all about the journey. I plan to keep living a damn good journey.<br />
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We're going to the Keys this weekend because we are young and alive and we CAN. Journey on.Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-14754299112142612222014-02-07T06:46:00.003-08:002014-02-07T07:13:38.336-08:00What Makes Me Happy - Musical editionWe've been fighting off a weird funky stomach thing around here - I blame my dirty preschoolers for sharing too much. As soon as I start to feel better, this bug just comes back to knock me back down again! As such, we've had a lot of quiet time this week - lots of lying in bed and reading or watching TV and Movies - trying to get well. I've had three auditions in the last week, and another one tomorrow, so it looks like the busy season might arrive early. I'm also working on a truly awesome Business Course for Actors, I'm taking it online and learning a ton that I'm getting ready to put into play in my actor business.<br />
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But it's been slow, which is great considering how we're feeling. Since I don't have any great stories to regale you with, I thought I'd share some videos that make me happy - things that put a spring in my step, a smile on my face and joy in my heart.<br />
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Enjoy! Let me know which one is your favorite!<br />
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Singin' In The Rain<br />
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Gene Kelly and Jerry Mouse in Anchors Aweigh<br />
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Moses Supposes<br />
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The Penguin Dance<br />
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The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing<br />
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Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly<br />
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Tap Greats Honor Sammy Davis Jr.<br />
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The Carol Burnett Show - "Cinderella Gets it On" featuring the Pointer Sisters and Harvey as the Godmother:<br />
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<br />Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-28725023643248191932014-01-13T10:13:00.001-08:002014-01-13T12:29:55.540-08:00Getting PersonalFeeling introspective today, so I wanted to finish putting out my goals for my 31st year, but this time I have my personal ones. Sometimes my personals goals get all wrapped up in my professional ones, or I forget to have personal goals because I'm so busy chasing my professional ones. So here they are - my personal goals for my 31st year, things I'm recommitting myself to making possible.<br>
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- Keep business hours for my acting business, and then keep my personal hours for myself and my husband. Meaning keep them separate. Unless I have an audition or a booked job, I will not be working on weekends. Period. Or in the evening when Jason gets home from work.<br>
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-Keep getting my booty to the gym. I have a very physical day job, there are days when I teach 4-5 dance classes and sometimes it wipes me out. Regardless, I need to keep my gym dates 3-4 days a week. I am getting older, and I need to keep my body healthy and fit. As they say, "If you don't use it, you lose it." It's really not all vanity, either. I feel better, my moods are better, my... EVERYTHING is better when I am doing regular strength training.<br>
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-To reach out to the important people in my life more often. I'm a bad phone caller. Terrible. Just ask my best friend. I recognize that this is a problem, and I am trying to fix it. And doing a bad job at that too. So I'm going to fix it one call at a time.<br>
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-Keep sleep and lots of water every day a priority. This goes along with the gym bit, really, but I want to continue trying to get 8-9 quality hours of sleep per night and drinking plenty of water every day.<br>
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-Get more sunshine. I work during daylight hours, and with the shorter winter days I don't see much of the sun. Vitamin D keeps me happy, so I need to try to get out in it at least fifteen minutes a day. Fortunately, we live in Florida, and at this time of year we have GREAT weather! For example, I am outside writing this right now. And it's gorgeous.<br>
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-Breathe deeply more often.<br>
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-Keep our commitment to get away one weekend a month. I feel like we really only relax when we get away and limit our phone use and just try to be together.<br>
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-Take Indy for more walks or play ball more often.<br>
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-See more of the state where I live. Take advantage of being here and be more active outside - riding bikes, kayaking, swimming, etc...<br>
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-Find something new that I'm excited to learn or do. I have no idea what that is yet, but it would be fun to do something different and out of the box.<br>
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That's what I'm working with right now. How about you?<br>
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Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-85888662230763844972014-01-02T06:53:00.001-08:002014-01-02T06:53:53.221-08:00WHY? And then HOW?I'm taking this really awesome marketing course (slash life course!) called Build Your Own Buzz to start off 2014. I'm still in the first module and all I can say is... wow.<br />
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I was challenged to remember why I started acting in the first place. That's tough - I <i>started</i> acting because it was where the things I loved to do - dance and sing - met. I chose to <i>pursue</i> acting because I love to entertain, to make people happy, to take them on a journey away from their lives for a little while. My original love for acting was born in the musical theatre, but is no longer limited to that format.<br />
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I do it because I love to make people smile, to laugh, to feel like getting up and joining in. And to be honest - when I'm doing that, it's EASY. And I am filled with so much JOY.<br />
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So, the next part of that is to connect that ease and joy with the work that I have been hired for in the last year or so. It's about 50/50: 50% broad comedy - whether commercial or theatrical - and about 50% very heavy drama, often involving me dying in some gruesome way.<br />
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But what I LOVE is the comedy, so I'm going to move forward with that as my focus this year, though there is not much comedy work to be found here in Orlando. It's almost all drama/horror/thriller from an independent movie standpoint. And that's valid - you have to work with the filmmakers around you - to support their work and help them achieve their creative vision. Fortunately, I have the skills to contribute in that vein, and I am HAPPY to continue to do so. But is it what I passionately believe I was meant to do? No. When I am really letting it roll, making people laugh, THEN I am exactly where I should be. My ease and joy in that process are indicators.<br />
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So now I have to chase that kind of work - to find the filmmakers who are creating comedy in my market - to build authentic, symbiotic relationships with them.<br />
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At least I have a target, right? Then I can sharpen my focus.<br />
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So I ask you, today - <b>are you doing what you love</b>? What DO you love to do? When do you feel exactly right in this world? Why? And how can you take a small step towards doing what you love, and bringing your specific gifts to the world? <b><i>What's your game plan for 2013? How can I help YOU to do your life's work?</i></b>Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-71236069361610892912013-12-31T10:18:00.001-08:002013-12-31T10:18:47.189-08:002013 RoundupIt's that time of year - the time that every blogger everywhere recaps their year, and says out loud (or in writing at least) their goals and dreams for the New Year.<div>
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I said in a previous post that I tend to wrap my year around my birthday - that is the time that I like to set my personal and professional goals moving forward.</div>
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That does not mean, however, that a New Year isn't the time to reflect on the previous one, or that I cannot reaffirm my goals at that time. My personal year may not end until October 16, 2014; but what a great opportunity to refresh my goals right now. To recommit myself to making the rest of my 31st year the best one yet. (Those will come in the next post, this one is too long already!)</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwm8pWTO9OSCT4NjWbpBAPCdF9zblKWlg8mkBg3CqxvWA9oO0rPphzZD0TzBvcnWrr24oqRoW2mDarXctPQztTIpO6v9beJ_gvv1fOg68-l-ZHF5NYht9vuLVmLqAVpKZzpbn7TKds_Ps/s1600/image-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwm8pWTO9OSCT4NjWbpBAPCdF9zblKWlg8mkBg3CqxvWA9oO0rPphzZD0TzBvcnWrr24oqRoW2mDarXctPQztTIpO6v9beJ_gvv1fOg68-l-ZHF5NYht9vuLVmLqAVpKZzpbn7TKds_Ps/s320/image-2.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>In the Keys.</i></td></tr>
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<b>So - to Recap 2013 (in no particular order other than the one they came to my brain in):</b></div>
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-My first full year in Florida, and what a year it was for me professionally!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0RkrvijRpq9mBdSh-6Ft9f1E5Uw5JGKJBM9TT1QIMubhfLs0bjOSW_5iIK0-XgEISgWhsBdz6Spjw2_G1Y_UYL8oVnfcbhNAZynMw59v7kkbtnc4_1d-CzvBFlyRAmyxjiINVF7K5Rg/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG0RkrvijRpq9mBdSh-6Ft9f1E5Uw5JGKJBM9TT1QIMubhfLs0bjOSW_5iIK0-XgEISgWhsBdz6Spjw2_G1Y_UYL8oVnfcbhNAZynMw59v7kkbtnc4_1d-CzvBFlyRAmyxjiINVF7K5Rg/s320/photo.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Penny Girl's First Christmas!</i></td></tr>
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-My sister came to visit and told me she was PREGNANT! We welcomed our niece, Penelope Belle, on October 24, 2013! Such a magnificent blessing!</div>
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-I started teaching Dance again with Dance Station Orlando. I truly believe that there are people that you are meant to meet and work with, and teaching for DSO has been an incredible blessing. When we left California, I was so burned out that I thought I never wanted to teach again. What I've learned is that I have the heart of a teacher, and that if I limit my work time to certain hours it won't consume my life. It's been awesome. I am so looking forward to adding an acting class to my teaching time in 2014!</div>
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-By the numbers: I shot 7 commercials, 3 short films, 2 feature films and performed in 2 major theatre productions. That's just awesome. I am looking to double that volume in 2014!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidi0ERvCrxxpZyLWJJkTvx5zp3Vj2KbixXkKzl6HL6GMBJhi0bh8y0u-0FpJl5bozS_GWPS0QqkRZAGOnhp2pzUEDHzx5qsv0KrT_TfA3zC_aM2eYvjsMgDQ-EHxFv59wMEFUN_nfz7Cc/s1600/image-6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidi0ERvCrxxpZyLWJJkTvx5zp3Vj2KbixXkKzl6HL6GMBJhi0bh8y0u-0FpJl5bozS_GWPS0QqkRZAGOnhp2pzUEDHzx5qsv0KrT_TfA3zC_aM2eYvjsMgDQ-EHxFv59wMEFUN_nfz7Cc/s320/image-6.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>On Set.</i></td></tr>
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-Jason and I did a LOT of Scuba Diving. I spent a lot of that time seasick, throwing up over the side of the boat, but I was able to (with the exception of 1 time) puke and rally (meaning get my butt up and get in the water, where I knew I'd feel better). My dive skills greatly improved in 2013, and I am excited to finish up my Rescue Diver in March in the Bahamas while Jason completes his DiveMaster course.</div>
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-In that vein - we spent a lot of time at the Beach. St. Augustine, New Smyrna, and 4 weekends in the Keys. Cue the Beach Boys...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfQ0ooVaGbxtkkgyfS5RmYE_eqkLUAvcrJ9Q93ijwjPYKMvgAMZga8Gp613tv8zV0kBxmoEkAi6DWSFLS1wkpAAzbaQUt1gVQgl4jpa1Hxxipp8zWzswaMFxB2uh1kdrEV8Hjl9IxBQsE/s1600/image-9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfQ0ooVaGbxtkkgyfS5RmYE_eqkLUAvcrJ9Q93ijwjPYKMvgAMZga8Gp613tv8zV0kBxmoEkAi6DWSFLS1wkpAAzbaQUt1gVQgl4jpa1Hxxipp8zWzswaMFxB2uh1kdrEV8Hjl9IxBQsE/s200/image-9.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>St. Augustine</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifBH2I4U4UKjsmJo3eanDqfSYyXOZqUqwJmvUY9Dphr7-_3pqwNJrK2NQiNcVP5ZbUEFvijcNBKzJfsHOZ-TpHzCBx_AM2uxGU_UGHZRD0gZ4jV4LydogLOUbFZOZr5fJuAVCaqDVWk7k/s1600/image-8.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifBH2I4U4UKjsmJo3eanDqfSYyXOZqUqwJmvUY9Dphr7-_3pqwNJrK2NQiNcVP5ZbUEFvijcNBKzJfsHOZ-TpHzCBx_AM2uxGU_UGHZRD0gZ4jV4LydogLOUbFZOZr5fJuAVCaqDVWk7k/s320/image-8.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Too Much Fun in the Keys</i></td></tr>
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-2013 was the year of the Agent. I learned a LOT the hard way about the agent relationship in Florida, and how different it is from Los Angeles. I am now repped by a team of agents (3 in Orlando and 1 in Atlanta) who are excited about me and believe in me and what the future holds.</div>
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-Jason found a full time job, and has already been promoted. The transition back to him working full time after two years of freedom was tough on both of us, but we are trying to embrace the opportunities that are here and now.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzQf96xP71K8ci_g-qqPv6xO-FiJ0gB-qDSpDUp8n4B4VtCNYI2j_eRMgDMjNka2HYNof6zVwzS3uVjmKKDs91Li1UuH32TWho5wNWYtZYMaQSirTWj8m4XlIUsErIfBXRKAA6yvE9pHw/s1600/image-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzQf96xP71K8ci_g-qqPv6xO-FiJ0gB-qDSpDUp8n4B4VtCNYI2j_eRMgDMjNka2HYNof6zVwzS3uVjmKKDs91Li1UuH32TWho5wNWYtZYMaQSirTWj8m4XlIUsErIfBXRKAA6yvE9pHw/s200/image-3.jpeg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>No Caption Necessary.</i></td></tr>
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-I learned how different shooting Indie films can be, even from each other. Budget is a major factor, and each experience was definitely unique!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjCMldhqGs_Bk3yOUfrBbdZvJWHWql9U_rbk_ASpiCJibw37UZ0tOnEMZpRNEASUOb47mqUzqU3lyf5U3L1GoC5wSk7WZtOkqpnxihp9gr__GV4zwmOPXSLzXkk_Js_mHs9l1xLHuOCLI/s1600/image.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjCMldhqGs_Bk3yOUfrBbdZvJWHWql9U_rbk_ASpiCJibw37UZ0tOnEMZpRNEASUOb47mqUzqU3lyf5U3L1GoC5wSk7WZtOkqpnxihp9gr__GV4zwmOPXSLzXkk_Js_mHs9l1xLHuOCLI/s320/image.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Nik, Solange and their kids (our godbabies) Caity and Ollie.</i></td></tr>
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-Our godbabies are a year older, and are the coolest kids on the planet.</div>
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-I got to sing and dance with the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra. It rocked. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKhWu56d5VSQ_zVdGynndAer9l0RLhRCv7K2on5pdXphbBji2V2r0E4QzZeyH2gPQPHeUOjZ6cM3nhe8TjgBUxbEwshrVVuOa699pXAkTzuHpKaaDAJzdYAiTKIH4fBmjuzbt6YjH_YaA/s1600/image-7.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKhWu56d5VSQ_zVdGynndAer9l0RLhRCv7K2on5pdXphbBji2V2r0E4QzZeyH2gPQPHeUOjZ6cM3nhe8TjgBUxbEwshrVVuOa699pXAkTzuHpKaaDAJzdYAiTKIH4fBmjuzbt6YjH_YaA/s320/image-7.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Outback Bowl. Go Blue!</i></td></tr>
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-We went to see my Wolverines play in the Outback Bowl on New Years Day. We lost in the last 30 seconds, but it was a GREAT game!</div>
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-I was nominated for Best Actress in a Musical in the Broadway World Orlando awards. Too cool.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJhrhIWXvwbAh4tzLm2g-3DjjGOH2-eJK5DjYu1PqIsqUJ31O8j-ArnqSAsMr3QWyS-rEHyqrZXm4kYauSKUMsIl-IPBa5wt12BW5mmQTequGVzeOTuuK-hiC8cIOKEj928WHYcP_niQc/s1600/image-10.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJhrhIWXvwbAh4tzLm2g-3DjjGOH2-eJK5DjYu1PqIsqUJ31O8j-ArnqSAsMr3QWyS-rEHyqrZXm4kYauSKUMsIl-IPBa5wt12BW5mmQTequGVzeOTuuK-hiC8cIOKEj928WHYcP_niQc/s200/image-10.jpeg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Even Sister Mary Amnesia<br />is a Wolverine!</i></td></tr>
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-Comedy IS my thing. Just because I don't do standup doesn't mean I'm not funny, and in Orlando's model saturated commercial market, it sets me apart.</div>
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-I remembered that an audition is an audition. It has no bearing on my self worth or value to those that care about me. Go in, do your best work, and brush it off.</div>
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-I went home to California three times!</div>
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-We took a cruise in January and it was the only time this year that we left the US - a sharp decline from the amount of traveling we did in 2012. We went to Honduras, Belize and Mexico, and dove in each country. There is more traveling in our future in 2014, even if it is mostly domestic.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7AL0CcPM1xqxkrWNj8ZnYU47r8Q8G3GBizgSsn7JH2M_9g29MQlWwzAvVeaQEGuTjbJm9LwIXrdzjCaf5ENV1SjnBDA4Kxf3Y8SS205yLhE3vu9PMCkb47utOlDQGqWLqhNEkdZ18p0/s1600/image-4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7AL0CcPM1xqxkrWNj8ZnYU47r8Q8G3GBizgSsn7JH2M_9g29MQlWwzAvVeaQEGuTjbJm9LwIXrdzjCaf5ENV1SjnBDA4Kxf3Y8SS205yLhE3vu9PMCkb47utOlDQGqWLqhNEkdZ18p0/s320/image-4.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Skiing June Lake in California.</i></td></tr>
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-We went SNOW SKIING! I hadn't been in at least 15 years (possibly 20?), and it was just like riding a bike. I forgot how fun it is. There is a yearly ski trip in our future, I think.</div>
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-Most importantly, I've come to the conclusion that family and friends are the most important and that you don't get time back. I'm learning to work hard on my career, but limit it to certain hours. I'm trying to call and text more often. To be a better wife, sister, daughter, friend to the people that have put up with so much of my crap over the last fifteen years.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Still Having Too Much Fun!</i></td></tr>
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Hope you had an exceptional 2013, and that your 2014 will surpass all your expectations! Happy New Year!</div>
Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-38330447012110754252013-12-03T11:06:00.001-08:002013-12-03T11:06:29.056-08:00November is for Giving Thanks/Recap of Week 1The blog has been quiet again - not because nothing is going on here, but because I am trying to be more intentional about the downtime that I do have.<br />
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I think maybe my lesson for year 31 is going to be to stop and smell the roses. I've been on a freight train to something ever since I was a teenager. There is always something I am driving towards, some end goal in sight. Having goals and drive is a good thing, but not when it eclipses everything else. So maybe my 31st year is about Balance - finding contentment in the everyday, and continuing to work forward into my goals for tomorrow and next year. To not let myself get so wrapped up in "the work" that I forget to come up for air, or to look around and see all the good that is present.<br />
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I spent some time at home with my sister a few weeks back, meeting my beautiful new niece. Here's the thing about Kelli - when we stood in line for qualities, she stood in the contentment line twice and I visited the drive line an extra time. I have always been envious of how my sister is always content where she is at. She is absolutely present in every moment, and you always get 100% of her attention when you are with her. I've always been "fire lit under the ass" driven, which breeds a lot of discontent. Not that I don't have moments of contentment and that Kelli doesn't have any drive, but she got the lions share of one, and I the other. I am trying to stand in the contentment line at 31.<br />
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As part of that, I have made a serious effort to do the "month of Thanksgiving" on my Instagram/Facebook accounts, and wanted to share the list (so far) with you here. <br />
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For a girl like me, who is rarely content where she is at, it's important to remember the best things in life. The moments, the people, the experiences that you are grateful for can help bring you peace, and keep you grounded in the present moment as opposed to the unknown that is to come.<br />
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So, primarily for my own reference, here is the first week of my list of things I am thankful for this year. It is not all encompassing, and primarily based on the circumstances of each individual day.<br />
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<b>Day 1</b> - I am so thankful my niece was born healthy and that my sister came through the birth like a shining star. Though Penelope Belle has only been here for eight days, I cannot imagine a world without her in it.<br />
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<b>Day 2 -</b> Thankful for time with my best friend of umpteen years. Solangey is a better friend than I deserve, and spending quality time with her is like gold. I love you, Solangey! Here's to many more years of margaritas and girl talk!<br />
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<b>Day 3 </b>- Thankful for my parents. I am so blessed to have such incredible parents and so happy for them in this next stage of life!<br />
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<b>Day 4 </b>- Found this gem today. So - today, I am thankful to have been raised with three cousins who are like brothers to me. Love you, Brian, Mark and Kevin. I am so proud of the men you have become!<br />
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<b>Day 5</b> - Thankful to be home safe with my wonderful husband! (After returning safely from my visit to LA)<br />
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<b>Day 6 </b>- Thankful for a wonderful job and a phenomenal boss, doing something I really enjoy every day and maintaining the flexibility to audition regularly and with short notice! If you have ever been a working actor, you know how important that is!!!<br />
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<b>Day 7</b> - Thankful for this little guy. Indiana Jones is so smart, so funny and loyal to a fault. Life is better with an awesome dog in it - no matter how tough the day, he can make me smile.<br />
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Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-72336519168417069612013-10-22T07:17:00.001-07:002013-10-30T20:06:16.909-07:00My 31st YearI have been procrastinating on this post... trying to find the right words to voice what I am thinking and experiencing...<br />
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I turned 31 two weeks ago. It was a tough one because, although I dreaded my 30th birthday, 30 ended up being the best year of my life. It's hard to let a year go when it was so good, especially when the next year is unknown. I was comfortable with the successes of my 30th year. Comfortable with the rhythm of the life we have built here in Florida.<br />
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A new year inevitably means changes in some way. It's easy to hide in the comfort of what I know, but I have decided that its time to "go big or go home". My 31st year cannot be a repeat of my 30th year, because if it is I have not grown as a person or an artist.<br />
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I have long felt that my "new year" of resolutions begins on my birthday and not on January 1st as is more common.<br />
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So now that I have turned 31, it's time to lay out my goals for this next year, and start to plan my steps for achieving them! I have two professional goals to roll over from last year, and a few new ones that I have started to roll out plans for.... <br />
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Professional Goals:<br />
-Book my first co-star and guest-star on an episodic shooting in the South (as such, I am upgrading and updating my marketing materials and developing a specific plan of attack to make this happen)<br />
-Book a nationally airing commercial (I booked several local spots last year, but I am on the hunt for one or more spots that will air across the United States. I was very, very close to booking one last week, so I believe that it will happen soon!)<br />
-Start a "mastermind" group of like minded actors working in this market for support, encouragement and fresh ideas. (Done! We got started last week, and it was so inspiring!)<br />
-Develop relationships with casting directors and casting offices that I want to work with. (That's what the new, targeted marketing materials are for)<br />
-Find representation in New Orleans (a growing market) and for theatrical work in Los Angeles. I am hoping to do this through my current representation so I am building a more interconnected team.<br />
-Find a manager? I think it's time to bring someone onto my team that is more highly invested in me - who can give better feedback on styling, and type. I want to make sure that my appearance matches what I am "selling". As an actor, I am a product that I have to sell. The more my image lines up with my type, the more I book.<br />
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Still working on my personal growth goals for my 31st year. I will share those as I come up with them!Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-41331027934561609252013-10-10T05:34:00.000-07:002013-10-10T05:34:19.025-07:00Confident vs. CockyWhen I transferred to the University of Michigan (read <a href="http://erinsartsadventures.blogspot.com/2013/09/having-amnesia-at-20-and-30.html" target="_blank">THIS POST</a> for more), I thought I was the s%#t. When I landed at Michigan, I was handed the realization that I was now in an environment where everyone had their "thing" and they were better at it than I. They were funnier. They could sing circles around me. They had a better body. They were better technical dancers than I was.... The list went on and on. I took a huge hit to my ego (which was needed at the time, I'll be honest), and got back to work, trying to find what I did best and what made me special. I'm not sure I ever found it. I hid in directing and choreography for a long time - afraid to put myself out there again because I wasn't sure I was good enough.<br />
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And then we moved to Florida, and I started working again. I began to realize that there was a market for ME - that just because I don't look like Jessica Alba doesn't mean I can't work. That just because I'm not Melissa McCarthy funny that I can't make people laugh.<br />
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2013 has been a time of rediscovering what I CAN do, instead of beating myself down for not being "good enough".<br />
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So - when we closed NUNSENSE last weekend, I sat down and started to evaluate what I had learned from revisiting Sister Mary Amnesia. <br />
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Before I go into this list, though, please know that I am not being cocky. I am confidently stating the things that I remembered that I do well. And God knows that there is a difference between confident and cocky.<br />
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I learned from a singer friend of mine (whom I really respect) that I have a much better voice than I give myself credit for. I am never going to be able to scream it out like Idina Menzel - that is not the voice I was given - but my voice is MINE and it's a good one. I should be proud of it and have confidence in it!<br />
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I re-learned that I am funny, and that I have a gift for physical comedy. That if I relax, and have fun, and don't try to work so hard that people will laugh. And they will laugh hard. I had comments from audience members (who continued to come back) that I reminded them of Kristen Wiig (of Bridesmaids) and Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory. Such compliments, and a reminder that just because I don't do stand up doesn't mean I'm not funny. I will be pursuing more comedic work, or just creating my own.<br />
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And I re-learned that I LOVE to entertain. I remembered how powerful it is to have an audience in the palm of your hand - to know that they are taking your journey with you, and are so in tune with what you are doing that you can make them laugh hard with just a grin. How incredible it is to know that you have brought so much joy to their lives for two hours - that no matter what they are going home to, they had two hours of solid laughter with some tears mixed in. Laughter truly is the best medicine, you know.<br />
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So - I'm aggressively re-evaluating my plan and figuring out where it takes me next. My new mantra: Confidence is not cockiness. Be confident in your skills, and go use them, just don't be an a-hole. ;)<br />
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I can't wait to see what happens!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL0gByXR7PzcWbCNJ1HqTE368m4PBe4B_yu3ffIg_DeZJEs1xS2iXs7iiXFHCyiO-Gei5Fnj4ZnetXZ3HfGBWPMzPtnTIxJUMzl9vzbtViqElHqapTZXLj1dJfY-t63C19ekVa7_Zz_tA/s1600/NUNSENSE-2083+v2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL0gByXR7PzcWbCNJ1HqTE368m4PBe4B_yu3ffIg_DeZJEs1xS2iXs7iiXFHCyiO-Gei5Fnj4ZnetXZ3HfGBWPMzPtnTIxJUMzl9vzbtViqElHqapTZXLj1dJfY-t63C19ekVa7_Zz_tA/s320/NUNSENSE-2083+v2.jpg" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hamming it up with the audience as Sister Mary Amnesia.<br />Production Photo courtesy of TheatreWorks Florida.<br />NUNSENSE, 2013.</td></tr>
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<br />Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-59285899360110335822013-09-24T11:08:00.001-07:002013-09-24T11:08:46.788-07:00#ActorProblemsMany so called actor problems aren't problems at all. Yes - there are some serious actor problems: paying bills, making enough to eat, healthcare issues if you don't have a union to protect you, having your fragile self esteem bashed regularly... Those are serious problems.<div><br></div><div>What aren't real problems are these - having to juggle your day job to accommodate auditions and bookings, getting too many emails from your agent(s), having to quickly (like within hours) put a role on tape for a TV series audition your agent got you...</div><div><br></div><div>It always cracks me up when actors complain about the second set of problems. You chose this life - did you really think you were going to immediately become a star and never have to work a survival job?</div><div><br></div><div>Are you really going to complain about, or God forbid, skip out on an opportunity to audition for a role on a major network TV series because you have to stay up late to get it in under the wire? Are you going to complain about going through the schedule shuffle when your agent calls to tell you you booked a commercial that shoots tomorrow morning? God forbid they like you so much they bring you back the next week to add extra audio!</div><div><br></div><div>How bad do you want it? Are you willing to do what it takes?</div><div><br></div><div>I was fortunate enough to have both of those actor problems in the last week. I had to juggle my Wednesday schedule to drive back to Tampa and record extra audio for my commercial that starts airing all over Florida in about another week.</div><div><br></div><div>And the very next day, one of my agents called with an audition for a MAJOR network show that I had to shoot and turn around for her by midnight. I came home from Nunsense performance, did my hair, touched up my makeup and got that video in on TIME because its important. Because its the price you pay to be a working actor. Because those kind of #actorproblems are not really problems at all. </div><div><br></div><div>And I asked for them. When they become a nuisance and a chore, it's time to get out of the business.</div><div><br></div><div>I wish I had those problems every week!</div>Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-46641224820412309922013-09-17T15:21:00.002-07:002013-09-24T10:53:24.046-07:00Having Amnesia at 20 and 30I've been harping on story lines a lot lately, but it seems that every time I turn around someone is talking about the importance of celebrating and really living your personal story.<br>
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So here's my storyline for this week:<br>
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We opened Nunsense last Friday, and it has been such a joy to live in the skin of Sister Mary Amnesia again.<br>
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The last time I played her was ten years ago. I was 20 years old, about to transfer to the University of Michigan and felt that the world was my oyster. <br>
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At a certain age, you feel invincible. The world hasn't beaten you down yet and every possibility feels like it is open to you. I hadn't yet fully realized how talented everyone else was, and had a strong belief in my own abilities and potential. Basically, I thought I was the s*%t (excuse my French). I wasn't conceited so much as supremely confident that everything was going to work out just as I had planned.<br>
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I was going to get my BFA at Michigan and move to New York and become a Broadway star, transition to Film and TV and have my own series. Believing in yourself that much can be magical.<br>
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So I marched my little butt down to a professional theatre in Orange County, and had the audacity to decide that I was going to play Sister Mary Amnesia. And my self belief sold itself to the director and music director and at 20 I landed the most challenging role of my life.<br>
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In retrospect, I was nowhere near prepared to tackle the challenges of Amnesia - the comedy, the several octaves of vocal range, the emotional arc. But I had no idea at the time. I worked harder than I ever have in my life - even learning ventriloquism - and I did it. Somehow, I did it. I was so proud. I grew so much. And it was one of those shining moments where I set my mind to wanting something and achieved it. It glimmers in my memory as a time I really pushed myself beyond my limits. To be honest, I really felt like superwoman.<br>
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At the time, I was carrying 20 college credits, teaching acting and dance classes two days a week, co directing and choreographing a production of Bye, Bye Birdie, and working a part time retail job. All on top of making that one hour each way drive (without traffic - I don't even want to talk about what it was like with traffic) to Orange County five days a week for rehearsals.<br>
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Just the thought of what my life was like then gives me a border line panic attack. I think I must have been crazy. Now, I can barely manage my weekly teaching schedule, regular auditions and this production of Nunsense.<br>
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That time in my life shaped a lot of who I am today, and I am so grateful for it. I am also grateful for the opportunity to revisit such a special role with a lot more training and some serious humility. The experience has been very different. I would hope that I am doing better work at 30 than I was at 20, but it would be nice to have back a little bit of the confidence and audacity I had at that age.<br>
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We could all use a little more confidence and self belief, right? Shouldn't we all remember what it is to dream big?<br>
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And who knows, maybe I will get a chance to benchmark with Amnesia again at 40!<br>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhggcN7_dIT4v3rXZrXnpkrBQQVq5nEjqs6fks754AhWV0E7sRAN64KUYLzj7rlvhhwr7h87jcVG8fwWzv4oHmB58Et0_PkH83QC42MqQH971lKR7XbXttHUaHkc8M07MuOqzrcNxeI1AA/s1600/Nunsense+2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhggcN7_dIT4v3rXZrXnpkrBQQVq5nEjqs6fks754AhWV0E7sRAN64KUYLzj7rlvhhwr7h87jcVG8fwWzv4oHmB58Et0_PkH83QC42MqQH971lKR7XbXttHUaHkc8M07MuOqzrcNxeI1AA/s320/Nunsense+2013.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sister Mary Amnesia with Sister Mary Annette, 2013</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVmdrZv8nxER0XQUGukIt2gwnUHZ5PxHTqVonv27k0RVLta9HEEaeulygUul5GRGjjOCB6Q8Ippc89-Em2M4tJ1vO5YTiGc6zsXYoHCtbOIhl7djCyO9meijZkyoUWjeJ385GAuhjaFV0/s1600/Nunsense+2003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVmdrZv8nxER0XQUGukIt2gwnUHZ5PxHTqVonv27k0RVLta9HEEaeulygUul5GRGjjOCB6Q8Ippc89-Em2M4tJ1vO5YTiGc6zsXYoHCtbOIhl7djCyO9meijZkyoUWjeJ385GAuhjaFV0/s320/Nunsense+2003.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sister Mary Amnesia with Sister Mary Annette, 2003</td></tr>
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<br>Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-1000521829962533782013-09-12T07:32:00.001-07:002013-09-12T07:32:04.412-07:00Put on Your Big Girl PantsI teach kids - a lot of them - and many of them are preschoolers. Every now and then I have to remind one of them to act like a big boy or big girl. Nobody, not even preschoolers, wants to be thought of as a baby. So when you tell them to look like a big boy/girl it gets their attention. They almost always snap back into great kids!<br />
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It's been a wild week around here. I am now teaching 20 dance classes a week, am in tech for NUNSENSE, which opens tomorrow and runs for four weeks, and have had a steady number of auditions and bookings through all of that. It's enough to make the biggest girl a baby at some point.<br />
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On my way to this morning's acting gig, my car said that one of my tires was low. Immediate response? Panic. Frustration. A desperate need for my husband to come and fix everything for me.<br />
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So I took a deep breath, reminded myself to put on my big girl pants and handled it. <br />
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I made it to the booking early (that's why you always leave extra time, folks!) and was able to get on with my day.<br />
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Cause I'm a big girl. And I wear big girl pants!Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-76963506901155803912013-09-03T10:42:00.001-07:002013-09-03T15:54:33.576-07:00Grit and PearlsI have continued to stew on storyline and living the best story I can, every day.<br />
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That can become difficult when I start to compare my dreams (and progress toward them) with others I know. You see, I have been blessed over the years to work with some exceptional talents, and many of them are really succeeding in their careers right now. Some are huge, some will be huge shortly. I am so proud to know them and have had some small part in their journey. The trouble comes when I start to compare myself to these actors I know. My career trajectory has been totally different, and doesn't deserve to be compared. And I can't start thinking "It's too late", just because I haven't yet achieved the success I had hoped to by this age. It just means that success looks different than I planned!<br />
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Jen Louden has a beautiful post on this topic today, about how all of our struggles and failures are the grit that we can ultimately choose to turn into pearls. Read it here: <a href="http://jenniferlouden.com/too-late-by-whos-clock/">http://jenniferlouden.com/too-late-by-whos-clock/</a><br />
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So Today I will choose to work on my pearl. To be overjoyed for my successful friends, and to continue plugging along on this path I'm on.<br />
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To celebrate where I am today, I finally posted my demo reel - that all important actor tool in our Internet based world. Check it out!:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/dpuljCedLEg" width="420"></iframe><br />
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And be kind to yourself today. You deserve it!Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-35245198038340500952013-08-19T13:57:00.001-07:002013-08-19T13:57:15.212-07:00It's Been a MinuteWell, I'm up to my eyeballs in rehearsals and homework for this new production of NUNSENSE I'm in, and loving every second of it. It has been so fun to go back to a role I played (and LOVED) ten years ago, with fresh eyes and ten more years of life experience. God forbid I would do it the same way I did before! So I'm embracing the challenge of it, taking it with fresh eyes, because, you know... it's been a minute!<br />
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This is the first opportunity I've had to really revisit a role. I've revisited certain shows in different ways - first as a performer, later as a director or choreographer or both - but have really and truly never revisited a role before. It's amazing how much muscle memory is still there, and how I've had to suppress that to truly view the show from a fresh perspective. <br />
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It's hard work, and it's a blast working with such an awesome cast and team every night!<br />
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Can't wait to share some photos of me back in the habit - until then, here's the banner for the show featuring our very own "RevMo". :)<br />
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<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX_WKFyWEkFmcMhv3PQmrzu0Lxo5-3PfG0mcMp0HST0KQJlrFJWQwsdS6B6jrCE65BtAtPhIJs69iq-Y0SjBEl5TJ54Z3AZJfdYVsfnC4zBD1M7oHPUS1AsEKoIwOYNmGjRC7X9d5JChc/s640/blogger-image-279519474.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX_WKFyWEkFmcMhv3PQmrzu0Lxo5-3PfG0mcMp0HST0KQJlrFJWQwsdS6B6jrCE65BtAtPhIJs69iq-Y0SjBEl5TJ54Z3AZJfdYVsfnC4zBD1M7oHPUS1AsEKoIwOYNmGjRC7X9d5JChc/s640/blogger-image-279519474.jpg" /></a></div>Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7872185202164492427.post-50220908101087265282013-08-13T06:52:00.001-07:002013-08-13T06:52:48.794-07:00A Better StoryI've been thinking quite a bit about our personal stories lately. A few weeks back I wrote about a book, "The Alchemist", that was utterly life changing for me. What brought that post up was a book I read last month and have continued to return to, a few chapters at a time, called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. I've read several of Don's books over the years, and I always seem to encounter them at a time when I need them most. <br />
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"A Million Miles..." Is about our story lines - crafting them into a life someone would want to make a movie about. Maybe it's my adventurous spirit, maybe it's my deep desire to leave a lasting impact on the world in some small way, but the idea of crafting a life that could be made into a dynamic film really resonates with me. Instead of making a movie about driving in the car, getting groceries and rushing to work, I'd like to be in a film about a woman who changes lives and sees the world and lives passionately - who scuba dives and learns new languages and interacts authentically with different cultures. Who made something of her life, however long or short it may be.<br />
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Because the reality is that there are no guarantees on how long we have - no one but God knows the number of our days on this earth. So why wait to make it spectacular? Why not do the things you dream of now? Our only limitations are the ones set by ourselves - the things we perceive. But time is fleeting - make each day matter!<br />
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I really believe that living a good story means being fully present in every moment of your life. Not wishing time away. Perfect example - yesterday was a rough day - it was long and tough and I caught myself at one point just wishing that it would be over. So I forced myself to shake it off and breathe and choose to live a better story for the rest of the day. And it worked. It was a better day after that. I lived a better story for the rest of the day.<br />
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Today I have jury duty, something that I do not have the luxury of time for this week. So I'm forcing myself to look at it as a gift - to enjoy the time to write and read and decompress. To make plans for my story so that the rest of the day is lived better. Maybe I will find an opportunity to live a better story while sitting in the jury pool today.<br />
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It's all about perspective and attitude, and choosing to craft my circumstances instead of drifting along wherever the wind blows me - dreaming of what could be but never living it.<br />
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As part of that, I've decided to re-examine the extraordinary chapters of my life that I've already lived, and those will begin to appear here on this blog. If we don't tell our stories, we forget them.<br />
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Let the storytelling begin.<br />
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And go check out "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" and Donald Miller's Storyline Blog - storylineblog.com<br />
Erin Farrell Speerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08409363512011708546noreply@blogger.com1