Saturday, July 17, 2010

La-La-Land (OR the agent hunt begins again)

Acting is my great love - more than dance, more than singing, more than directing - not more than my fiancee Jason, but as far as what I want to do.... well, it's acting.

And I was born and raised in LA, so you figure... perfect!


I have a hatred of the "Hollywood Scene". You see, even though I was born and raised in LA, I was actually born and raised in the South Bay, which is SOOOO much more relaxed in vibe and lifestyle. You can meet a new person, have a conversation, and unlike in Hollywood, they're not trying to size you up for who you know or what you can do for their career. So, I choose to continue to live in the South Bay for my sanity and only drive up to La-La-Land whenever I absolutely HAVE too.

I must be a masochist.

I hate Hollywood, but I want to act. And since I've promised myself that this time I won't settle for mediocrity in an agent (been there, done that) and that I'm shooting for the stars, I've spent the last two Fridays up on Wilshire Blvd., interviewing and then being called back for a top commercial agent. While I waited in the building's hallway (only actual clients get to wait inside on the couches... oh Hollywood), I experienced again the desperate behavior of actors and actresses in this town. Some of them break my heart while others make me want to stab my eye out.

This was definitely a "stab my eye out" day, mostly thanks to one woman. You can always tell if someone is talented or not... it reeks off of them. This woman... I'm not sure how she even came to be there. She giggled every time someone came in and out of the office, she was so nervous she couldn't "practice her read" in the lobby, so she continually rode the elevators up and down. Maybe I shouldn't be so judgemental, but she was making me batty!

What it really reiterated to me was that I don't love the scene, but I love the craft, and thanks to the encouragement of Jason, am ready to really try for it again - irregardless of my distaste of the desperation I always encounter.

Maybe I can learn to be more patient. Certainly, I could use to at least ask others I've known and worked with for favors every once in awhile. After all, that's networking, right? But how to do it tastefully and with humility, not developing those characteristics that I so despise? Hmmm...

I'll get back to you on that.


  1. Good luck Bearsies! it will all happen for you:)

  2. We all believe in you & are always cheering you on!! Go get 'em girl!

  3. So proud of you for pursuing your dream. Things always mean so much more when you work hard to achieve them. And I appreciate the great stories you are collecting on the way :)