Uncle Pete

Dad (on the Right) "keeps" Pete from running on his wedding day. These are the clowns they've always been.

My Dad's life-long best friend, whom he met at age 5 on the first day of Kindergarten, the man I know as Uncle Pete, passed away today at the age of 56. He was diagnosed months ago with cancer, and he fought it with everything he had. He leaves behind an incredible wife and two handsome sons, both in college.

Pete, Dad and their friend Butchy (yes... Butchy) raised some serious hell - I've only heard bits and pieces of their many stories. They played football together. They grew up together, in and out of each other's homes, having adventures. Getting in trouble. They were brothers. As my mom put it, Pete was more a brother to my dad than his own brother was. And Pete's mom was a second mother to my dad. Pete was there when my parents met. It was as important to my dad that my mom meet Pete's parents as it was she meet his own. That's the kind of friends they were.

My heart is broken. For his wife Tracy, for his sons Robert and Brian, for my dad, for Pete's mother. But I'm not heartbroken for Uncle Pete - because his struggle is over, and he is celebrating in heaven, waiting patiently for his family to someday join him.

Death is not sad for the ones who have already passed on, but for those of us who are left to pick up the pieces and learn how to move on again.

Please pray for Uncle Pete's family - for moments of laughter and joy, for fond memories, for friends and family to surround them and support them as needed, and that they are able to gradually heal.

Mom and Dad

We were so happy to have my parents stay at the Ranch for a few days this past weekend. They came in on Friday and headed out on Monday.

Dad on Hawk, Me on Goldie, Mom on Chewie and Savannah on Apache.

Fortunately, the Ranch was guest free and the bosses were very kind to let them come and stay in one of the cabins. They even got to have Tony's amazing food! We had Saturday and Sunday off which meant lots of quality time with my parents.

Jason stole my dad a lot for "man time", but who can blame him? I don't know anyone who doesn't love my dad, and Jason has really grown attached to him. It's really cute. :)

We talked, ate, played cars, spent hours in Wal-Mart and explored Cody. We even went out on a beautiful trail ride with Savannah for a few hours - the best way to see the territory around the ranch! Jason is practicing his documentary photography skills on horseback in preparation for the Pack Trip he's going on in August so I have lots of shots of our ride together! Thanks, honey! The only bummer is that Jason isn't IN any of the photos.

It was so great to have Mom and Dad here - I've been in low spirits since they left - I didn't get homesick until I saw them.

Something else to look forward to? My sister Kelli and brother-in-law Jeff flew in to West Yellowstone today for a week with my parents. Jason and I are headed there on Saturday and will spend part of Saturday and most of Sunday with them. Can't wait!

Roots

I've been struggling with this post, trying to get it just right... It's not quite right yet, but I don't think stewing on it any longer will get it there. Sometimes you just have to let it ride and embrace the imperfection.

I've started a lot of seedlings (literally thousands) in the last five weeks, and transplanted those seedlings into potting soil - either 3 1/2 inch pots or into the big planters that will soon adorn the property.

Some of those little seedlings grow great big stems and leaves quicker than their brethren. Those showy traits, however, are not what I look for when I choose a place to place into a pot. I'm looking for something less showy - the plants with the best roots.

A plant with a good root system will last longer and be healthier. Eventually, it will become more visibly productive and more beautiful than its showy brethren who put all of their energy immediately into what we see as pretty instead of into what is most important - their foundation.

Don't you wish humans were more interested in others roots than in their showy stems and leaves? I will admit that I love those stems, leaves and blooms, but aren't they all rather shallow without some base to give them depth and longevity?

Sometimes those roots get all tangled up and bound together, and need a little roughing up to grow. My own tangled roots sometimes NEED a little roughing up before I can make change or thrive in a new environment. And when those root systems are unbound and growing deep - isn't the result so much more beautiful and long-lasting?

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all worked on our roots and the outcome was beautiful, well-grounded blooms? Or if we gave less attention to beauty that is fleeting and focused on the beauty within? That we valued a person based on their character and not on their appearance?

And that's not to say that physical beauty doesn't have it's place. But it's so much more satisfying when there's depth there, too.

Take my sister for example. She's gorgeous - smoking hot, really - but what makes her so beautiful is the woman she is inside. Tender-hearted and kind. A person who will befriend a homeless man named Willy and then go out and buy him a couple pairs of shoes because he needed them. Who she is inside glows out through her eyes, and makes her so much more beautiful.

Character is important. Roots are important. Depth is important.

Hmm... Anyhow, that's just something I've been stewing on in the greenhouse. Feel free to let me know what you think!

And speaking of roots, let me say a very Happy Mother's Day to my own incredible Mom, who is having her first Mother's Day without her own Mom to celebrate with. I miss Grandma Joan, too, Mom - and I think of her every day. Happy Mother's Day, Grandma Joan. I love you. And I love you, too, Mama. Thanks for praying so fiercely for us every day. We can't wait to see you in July.

To Catherine and G'ma Joyce - Happy Mother's Day to both of you, too. Thank you for welcoming me so warmly into your family. Love you!

And to all of you moms out there, thank you for being the loving nurturers you are. I hope you have an incredible day filled with love and surprises.

Update: Here are a couple of posts that Blogger decided it needed to delete when it went down for the day. Take that, Blogger! I'm still putting them up!

From Kelli:
Er seriously you made me tear! I for sure do not deserve any of those kind words...but thank you! You're the BEST, and I love and MISS YOU sooooo much!

From Jess:
I love this post, Erin. Mom and I went hiking on Sunday and I brought up your root analogy. I'm so thankful to have friends who are growing strong roots, and search for that quality in others as well. I love that your experiences during this season are providing time for reflection and growth - in you and the plants :)

Joan Parker Hughes

This was the photo chosen for Grandma's obituary. She looks like such a babe. Someone told me yesterday that I look like her in this photo. I'll take the compliment!

We celebrated Grandma's life this weekend - on her terms.

After she passed, Auntie Ann found a sticky note attached to her will in her handwriting saying "Big Bash. 10 Empty Saddle." 10 Empty Saddle is their home - my third home growing up, after my own and my Aunt and Uncle's. Just as she lived, she wanted to go out surrounded by family and joy. So we did it up, Grandma style. No service in a church - we did our own service in the front yard of their wonderful home, with 120 invited guests. Grandma was so smart - she new that this wish would give my Grandpa a million and one things to do during the early days of his grieving process. Papa needs to keep busy. My mom and sister Kelli headed up all the decorations - bright and cheerful, reminiscent of her love for Mexico and zest for life. We had Mexican Beers and Sangria. Aunt Ann hired the "Taco Guy" to come and feed everyone. Yum!


Grandma and Papa in Mazatlan, Mexico where they spent a month every year. Many times we were blessed to go with them for a week. This photo is exactly how I think of my Grandma. Always at this age - so vibrant and alive.

We created our own ceremony, to honor Grandma and the life she lived. Everyone contributed something to the day, whether in the service or behind the scenes.

I started us off with "Amazing Grace" as requested by my Mom, Aunt and Papa. My friend Jen (who's also my cousin Brian's wife) read a bit of Scripture. My cousin Brian spoke and delivered a message.My sister Kelli shared memories of Grandma and introduced her husband, Jeff. Jeff sang and played "Danny Boy". My mom, Aunt Ann and Aunt Laurie (my Grandma's three daughters) each told stories about their Mom. My cousins Mark and Kevin played their guitars and harmonized beautifully, singing "Glory Bound" by the Wailing Jennys. The service was beautiful.

I cried at the end of my song - I was hoping I wouldn't since I had the advantage of being up first - but it happened. And my Aunt Ann and then Jeff joined in to get me through the rest of it.

Jason contributed in his way - he beautifully retouched and enlarged several old photos of Grandma, including the ones I've put in this post. Auntie Ann was a whirling dervish in the weeks leading up to Grandma's Bash. Mark's girlfriend Emily flew in from Ohio early and helped with so many of the preparations. Kevin's girlfriend Hannah came in from San Luis Obispo and helped in any way during the weekend. Both girls are just incredible - my cousins are lucky men!


My grandparents, much younger. We think they're up near Lake Arrowhead, California. I love this picture.

The whole bash was just like a family reunion - it was so wonderful to visit with extended family whom we haven't seen in far too long. Grandma would have been so pleased.

There was joy and laughter and love. And we were gifted with an absolutely gorgeous day - it must have been at least 80 degrees in the sun - Grandma's kind of day. The advantages of life in Southern California! You could almost see her sitting on the porch with a book in hand!

I cannot forget the incredible friends of my family who gave us their time and love - helping the whole day go smoothly. To Jerry, Lisa, Ann, Mike V., Solange, Nik, Mike M. Bonnie, Don, Robin and Karen (I hope I'm not leaving anyone help) - you are incredible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so loving and supportive!


Jason wasn't asked to retouch this photo, but it was mixed in with the photos we were given, and we just loved it. They're the couple on the left. So young, so beautiful.

Today, a much smaller group of us met at the Rudecinda Sepulveda mausoleum in San Pedro. Grandma Joan was a cousin of the Sepulveda family, and she and my Papa Phil were invited by the Dodson/Sepulveda family (historic Southern California families who have been here since long before there was a film industry) to be placed in their private mausoleum.

Uncle Mike led the service, with prayer by Aunt Laurie, I was asked to sing again "How Great Thou Art" and my dad played Taps on his bugle.

Grandma would have loved her urn - it is so beautiful and classy, with just the right touch of sass and glamour - just like she was.

After, the family retired to Papa Phil's home at 10 Empty Saddle for a late breakfast and time with my Grandpa.

I miss her so much. We all do. Seeing Papa's tears at the mausoleum this morning almost tore my little heart apart. Sixty years of loving marriage is such an incredible gift. To lose your partner of that many years must be devastating beyond belief.

But she is no longer in pain - she is in heaven, having her own family reunion, and some day I'll see her again.

When I die, I hope to go the same way - surrounded by family, so full of love, exactly the way she was that last week. Whenever she was really "there" that last week, she was making sure you knew that she loved you. Telling you, blowing you kisses - she was a kissing fiend in her final days. So classy - helping her family say goodbye even as her body deteriorated. Then, to go out with an awesome party and celebration - that's how I feel. Cremate me, throw a blow out party, and then go on and LIVE YOUR LIVES with my blessing. That's what I want. That's what she wanted. And that's exactly what she got. I hope she was cheering in heaven.


Grandma captured in a rare moment. She was not posing - she was caught in the middle of a "performance". I love it.

Venue!

We have a venue and a date!

We will be getting married on October 2, 2010 at the California Yacht Club in Marina del Rey!!!!

Jason and I went on Saturday (along with my mom, my sister Kelli, Jason's Grandma Joyce and Aunt Irene) for an appointment to view the venue, and just LOVED it. Plus, the events coordinator, Lorri, is great and so helpful! So we did it! We put our deposit down and it just felt right!

We also began our registries at Bed, Bath and Beyond (they were so great and helpful!), Target and.... REI. Yes, REI. Watching Jason with the scan gun was hilarious. I DID manage to commandeer it for a little while!

It feels amazing to have SO MANY decisions made (our venue provides many of the things that I THOUGHT I was going to have to hunt for) so I can relax and enjoy just being engaged!

If you'd like to see what our venue looks like all dressed up for a wedding, check out the link!

Other than that, we had a wonderful visit with Grandma Joyce and Aunt Irene this weekend. They were SO wonderful and generous, we had a beautiful visit to Catalina Island and many great adventures (mostly involving wedding plans!). :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

http://www.bellapictures.com/venueMontage/index.php?venue=californiayachtclub