Another Ending

We're here. I cannot believe it, but a year and a half after the adventure began it is changing. At the end of March, 2011 we left our lives in California, headed to Yellowstone Country in Wyoming. A year and a half later we're done - and we have both been forever changed by our time here and the people we've met. We leave in the morning, early. It will be dark when we go and I we won't be able to see this incredible place as we leave. But I know that we will always tell stories about the two summers we spent in Wyoming - an entire year of our lives - and that neither of us will ever regret our time spent here. For our marriage, for us as individuals, this time has been defining - and I expect we won't realize the extent of it until we're away.

I have always had trouble coping with big changes. I am hugely sentimental, and quick to tears. For someone who has trouble with change, I have surely sought out more change in the last 15 years than most people I know. And always, ALWAYS change is a good thing - but it is so difficult to say goodbye for now. Yet that is exactly what I'm doing right now - saying goodbye for now - and trusting that what comes next will be just as incredible and defining as this has been.

But for now, there are tears. Tomorrow morning there will again be tears as we drive away. And then later the excitement will come - the hope of the unknown - and the tears will fade. But I know this with all that's inside of me:

Our adventure continues, and what an incredible journey it has been so far.

Speedy September

September is flying in a blur, just like I figured it would! Not much time today but wanted to share: here are some of my favorite pictures from this month!

I love to snipe photos of Jason while he's shooting. This was in Yellowstone on Sunday!

Actually, from August and not July. I just love this photo of us in front of the Chuck Wagon. Yes, there is an antique chuck wagon at the ranch. It's pretty freaking cool.

We got to spend some time with Dad and his pal Jerry while they were fishing in West Yellowstone. So fun!

My dad is awesome. And the Farrell gene pool runs strong - see the resemblance?

Moose sighting! There aren't many Moose left in the area - the wolves have decimated their population - so it's very exciting when we see one close to the ranch. This lady was chowing on some grasses right by the ranch where I take Yoga!

That's the Hawkeye - all those trees, sitting there in the Valley. We've lived here since April of 2011.

Now that the guests are gone, I get to go riding again! Here I am on Poco, trying to keep her from chowing on grass. :)

My Time

We're in the last week and a half of our time here on the ranch. The end is easier for Jason because he'll be back here for two weeks of work after Thanksgiving. For me, well, we don't really know when I'll be able to come back. Hopefully sometime. It's weird and sad and exciting and humbling and terrifying and thrilling all at the same time. Mostly, though, I'm really looking forward to being finished with cleaning up after other people and after mice (we are way out here, and yes, there are mice), and sad to be leaving this beautiful place and my yoga ladies. So there you are.

Because we're so close to "the time", I've started preparing. I have two auditions lined up immediately after we arrive in Orlando, before we head to Europe. After we get back from our trip, I have an audition lined up with the Orlando Philharmonic, who are hiring singer/actors/dancers for How to Succeed... Fingers crossed for that one - if I book it, it could lead to more work down the road.

I'm also in the process of submitting to talent agencies in Orlando. Trying to finally find an agent who is a good fit for me and ready to help me book big jobs. Did you know that in all my agency booked auditions in Los Angeles, I was called back or held on 75% of them? That's 3 out of 4! But I never booked once through my agent, and part of that was the fact that I wasn't matched up with the right agent for me. This time around, I'm doing it right. I'm waiting for the right fit and signing with someone who is ready to help me make both of us some money. (And of course, help me chase my dream.)

After a year and a half off (with the exception of my awesome surprise caroling season last year), I am so, so, so ready to make my dreams come true. To perform. To work. To make it happen. It feels so strange to be back here in this place again - submitting, booking auditions, chasing the dream. But if anything, this time in Wyoming has clarified that for me. So I'm dusting off the headshots and resumes - getting them ready to go. Thank God I haven't changed in our time away. And I'm charging forward head first. I know how to do it. I just have to get back into the habit of it.

So, this is my time. I can feel it in my gut.

Time

I often get hung up on the passing of time. Especially at times when I know change is coming soon. So here's a list of times that have been on my mind this week:

-Two weeks exactly until we leave the Hawkeye. We'll have lived here for exactly one year out of the last year and a half.
-One month and one day until my 30th birthday. Wow. I feel like I was just excited to turn 13, 16, 21, 25... Now 30 is here.
-One month and one day until I spend my 30th birthday in ROME. Yes... Rome!
-2 1/2 weeks until our 2nd wedding anniversary. What a HUGE couple of years we've had!
-4 weeks since I started training with Caleb and 2 weeks since I kicked up my workouts with extra cardio and ballet barre.
-2 weeks of training with Caleb left to go.
-8 days until I hope I get to meet up with my dad in West Yellowstone.
-Almost two months since baby Oliver was born and I still haven't been able to snuggle him.
-About two months or so until I hopefully get to see Mom, Dad, Kelli, Jeff, Solange, Nik, Caity and Olly.
-Twenty days until I have my first Orlando Audition. Hence, the kicked up cardio workouts.
-28 days until we embark on our Med cruise in Barcelona!
-3 1/2 months until my mom celebrates a big birthday!
-7 years - Our sweet dog Indy is SEVEN today! He has graduated to Senior dog food!
-3 Days until our last group of guests for the season leaves. Wow.

And I'm sure there are more I'll be stewing on today. But man... you blink and time just FLIES!

Hiking the South Fork

About two weeks ago (or so... time seems to lose meaning way up here!) Jason, Indy and I hopped on the South Fork trail leading into the Wyoming wilderness. We live on the the South Fork of the Shoshone River, and as I've mentioned before, are surrounded by the largest wilderness area in the lower 48. Sometimes I have to pinch myself about how beautiful it is here. We get so wrapped up in the daily going's on of the ranch that I often forget to just stop and go... wow. So, on this day, that's exactly what we did. The smoke cleared up enough for us to hike, and we went for it. It was a beautiful hike, and moderate - every small climb was followed by a small descent. So here are a few pictures from our hike!

Where there's smoke...

...there always seems to be fire. West of us, there are currently 4 fires in Yellowstone, and three more fires surrounding Yellowstone. Since the wind blows in from the West here, we have had four days of extreme smoke here in the Valley. We would kill for a little bit of that Hurricane Isaac rain to come in here and put out the fires and clean the air. We are supposed to (finally) get a little rain in the next few days, but it's coming with Thunderstorms which are scaring. Lightning has been the cause of all the fires that are burning West of us, and because it has been SO dry up here this year, the possibility of more fires is pretty high. Anyhow, we're hoping the smoke will blow out of the valley soon so we can be more active and breathe easier. Literally.

We have the entire weekend off for Labor Day! Starting today and going through Monday, we are OFF! It's truly amazing. :) Of course, this is also the opening weekend of College Football, and we have big plans for camping out in the movie theatre and watching a ton of games. We actually got started last night, with the South Carolina/Vanderbilt game. Jason has been counting down the days to football since the last season ended with the Super Bowl. He's not too picky - College or NFL as long as it's football. I tend to prefer college. When the college season's over, my football season is pretty much over. Anyhow, Jason's Gators kick off against Bowling Green at 1:30pm our time on Saturday, and my #8 ranked Wolverines take on last year's National Champs, Alabama at Cowboys Stadium in Texas at 6pm our time. Super nervous about my game - just hoping that they make a good showing and that everyone walks away from the game without injuries. If they can do that, they stand the chance of having an AWESOME rest of the season! As the late, great Bo Schembechler once said, "Keep Believing". I am, Bo. I am.

I wish I could credit this image appropriately. But I can't. If you know who owns it, let me know so I can credit them! I just love it, though!

We're almost finished here on the ranch. One more month, and one more group of guests arriving on September 14. We're going to blink and it will be time to go. So, so crazy. Because we have this long weekend, we're hoping the smoke will clear out and we can go on a nice long hike Sunday up the river into the Wyoming wilderness.

Did you know that the ranch actually borders the largest wilderness area in the lower 48? No wonder we have grizzlies and wolves and moose and elk and big horn sheep. :) Oh my.

On Monday, smoke permitting, we're planning to hop in the hummer and take off on a photo expedition. Maybe into Yellowstone and Teton. Maybe somewhere else. Who knows? But again, the air needs to be clear.

Anyhow, I hope you have an incredible, beautiful Labor Day weekend, wherever you're at. Happy Opening Weekend of Football! And Go Blue!

Photo courtesy of MGoBlog

In Training

I did it. I convinced the ranch trainer, Caleb, to train me. I'm working with him twice a week right now, building an exercise program that I can take with me when we leave.

I've always been active, and I've been fit. More fit at some times than others. But I have never felt confident about my body, especially my stomach. So this training is not about losing weight, but more about getting on a program, making a commitment to my body and tightening everything up.

And since I'll be 30 on October 16, it's the perfect time to build new habits - before a milestone birthday.

So here's where I'm at - I am a size 4, and I think I weigh on any given day somewhere between 130 and 135 pounds. (Stop rolling your eyes at me - we can all use to be fitter, no matter our size.) I could care less about how much I weigh exactly - it's about health - but my best guess is in that range based on the last time I went to the doctor's office.

At the end of six weeks of training with Caleb, I will have a tighter tummy, a stronger body, and a plan for continuing to change my exercise habits.

I already feel so much better, just for being proactive.

When I find my camera, I'll post my "before" belly photo and a weekly update. Some accountability will help me to continue!